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2004 (January to July)

Tuesday, February 17

Dear VTwin Mama,
It's me again [Karen]. I asked a question in January about getting a bike for my size and you came through with some excellent advice. So I took it, word for word. I took the motorcycle safety course, got my license, priced some bikes, sat on some bikes and settled on a 2003 Yamaha VStar Classic, in pearl and silver (it was very reasonably priced at $6000 out the door, no miles). 

Now that I am officially road ready I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared for navigating through the city. I live in Austin, Texas and any time of the day is total chaos on the roads. I don't want to ride around the city but have to go through the city to get to the long stretches out to the Hill Country. I am very apprehensive about setting out for the first time. There is at least one close call for me every other day and I'm in a midsize car. I almost got side swiped by a huge truck (which everyone here has, it is Texas after all) just yesterday on my way to do my taxes. Oh, and no one here seems to believe in insurance. 

Do have any suggestions? Really, I know that it's different for everyone but I was hoping that I could get some stories from other VTwin Mamas about their first experiences. That might help me calm my nerves about city riding.

I also wanted to thank you for your site and your dedication to it. I know you must hear these types of questions all the time and yet you answer all of our questions with patience, understanding and excellent advice. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that you are so appreciated. I personally am so grateful for the service that you provide I can't truly express it in words.

Anyway back to the nerves about city driving, any suggestions VTwin Mama's out there?– Karen

Dear Karen,
Congratulations on taking serious steps towards your dream! I'm soooo proud of you already! Now, it's time to take the next ones.

You are SO NOT ALONE in expressing new rider traffic jitters. All you have to do is read my Jitters page to realize this!

I will repeat advice I gave in January -- contact a local women's riding group and get yourself a mentor. Or, try my Let's Ride page for a VTwin Mama sister in your area who might offer to ride with you in the beginning stages in traffic. Having a veteran rider with you as you venture out might prove to be the ticket.

If you are determined to go out on your own, you will find that early Sunday mornings offer the least amount of traffic. Start with small trips in your neighborhood, where you absolutely know the traffic lights, turn lanes and other traffic configurations you'll meet up with. One suggestion we've discussed over time is to "pre-ride" a short route in your car to review all of these things (and identify potential hazards, such as pot holes, parked cars, etc.) In this way, you'll boost your confidence. In addition, once you've chosen your ride route, envision a good ride in your mind. Sit at the kitchen table, close your eyes, and ride your bike through the route. See yourself confidently handling the stops and turns. Really, it works!

Another, and kinda weird suggestion, is to make sure that you know how to pick up your bike in case you meet with a situation that tips you over. That way, you're not stuck for taking care of the situation should it become a challenge. There are a few sites on my Cool Links page that offer picture by picture steps. Practice at home and you'll have the control you'll need forever! You wouldn't believe the "power" this will give you.

I know you can do it, and remember, small steps will lead you to your ultimate big dreams!

By the by, thanks for taking the time to express your views on the VTwin Mama site. It's nice to know that I'm making a difference! – Mama

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Tuesday, February 24

For Karen who has her license and bike and is ready to get on the road, but has some concerns:

Congratulations Karen!

Boy! I sure can relate to how you feel.  In November I took my motorcycle safety class where I learned to ride.  Of course in class I rode little 250s, but I needed a bike that would be able to keep up with my husband's 1400cc Harley and would be comfortable for longer trips as we plan to travel on the bikes.  My husband also warned me that if I got a small bike I'd be buying another one soon; I really didn't want to have to do that.  Anyway, one week after I graduated from the class, I bought a 2003 Suzuki Volusia.  It is 800cc and weighs over 500 lbs.  Boy was that different than what I rode in class!

A lighted, empty parking lot was the confidence builder for me.  What I did at first was ride to a local park after dinner.  It had a pretty good size parking lot and was only about a half a mile away, but believe me, the two turns I had to make to get there were VERY frightening at first.

Once I got there I rode for at least an hour at a time making stops and turns, over and over again.  I'm don't think I ever got out of 2nd gear.  Each time became a little easier.  I must have done this at least a half a dozen times, literally.  Finally, I went out with my husband, but didn't even try to keep up with him.  I ended up back at the parking lot.  Each time it got easier.  Just remember what they taught you in class...look where you want the bike to go and use the clutch to control the power to the rear wheel.  I repeated these things over and over in my head, and still do every once in awhile now.

I have over 1,000 miles now (3 months) and just recently began feeling very comfortable on my bike.  I love it now and am so glad I learned to ride and got the bigger bike first.  BTW, I did drop my bike (twice).  Fortunately, I had engine guards and didn't do much damage...other than to my pride that is!  Now that I think about it, I did break a perfectly good mirror which cost me 60 bucks to replace!  ...oh well, it was very much worth it.

Anyway, if you don't have a large parking lot that you feel comfortable in riding to yourself, maybe someone can take your bike there for you.

I hope some part of this has helped you to build your confidence.  Regardless, find what works for you, get out there and enjoy!  There is nothing else like the feeling you get when you and your bike finally feel as one.  Best wishes and again, congratulations! – Denise (note from Mama: sound advice from a rider who has recently "been there" and followed her gut instinct to get acclimated to "real" riding. Way to go, and yes, you're first hand account is sure to help Karen -- even if it's only to remind her that she IS NOT ALONE!)

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Wednesday, February 25

From Karen to Denise, who offered her support about new rider's jitters:

This is in response to Denise who wrote in me about my bundle of nerves about getting on the road with my new machine. I wanted to say the following in response to her.

Thank you so much for responding Denise. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me and it was a great help to me. It gave me hope that I would conquer my beast. I think my problem was not only size but the power of the engine. I also had/have problems with stalling. I think my clutch lever needs adjusting. It doesn't start grabbing until it's at the end of my fingertips and it wasn't that way with the 250's I practiced on in class. I was terrified of stalling in the wrong place and getting smushed. Since sharing my fears with the other VTwin Mama's and reading the archives I've realized that most things on my bike can be altered to fit my needs. With that ammo of information I'm off to get some things adjusted to fit my small hands.

Over all I love my bike. She's beautiful, handles well and is just the right weight for me to feel in control. If it wasn't for the clutch I think my nerves would be much better.

Again thank you for sharing Denise and thank you to everyone that took the time to support this VTwin Mama sister. – Karen (note from Mama: there's nothing like sharing a thank you note to another reader who took the time to respond. Now, go figure out that clutch beasty 'cause you definitely don't need the clutch engagement point at the end of the overall release. If necessary, get a service manual for that bike to begin learning basic things you can be doing by checking for sources on my Books/Mag page, or don't hesitate to ride over to the dealer and have a service person do a quick adjustment. It's a new bike and this should be corrected as soon as possible. You go girl!)

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Thursday, February 26

More for Karen who has her license and bike and is ready to get on the road, but has some concerns:

I started riding last summer, and this year I bought a new HD Sportster. I found that the larger, more powerful bike gave me more confidence when riding in traffic. However, just a week ago, I dropped the bike while sitting at a stop sign. I got it back up and rode that evening with no problem, but the next day, a Saturday, I was extremely nervous and just felt like I couldn't do anything right. That Sunday, our neighbor, who has been riding for years, went out with us. He stayed near me and rode "down" to my level, and by the end of the ride, all my confidence was back. It really helped to ride with someone so experienced. Perhaps Karen can try riding with a local club or a few more experienced bikers who can help get her confidence level up. – Li in Florida (note from Mama: well, there you have it! A "true" confession that stuff happens, no matter what the range of experience is! I heartily agree that finding good riders who can mentor in the beginning stages is a great idea -- so how's that going Karen? Have you considered contacting local groups yet?!)

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Thursday, March 4

Dear VTwin Mama,
Hi, It's Karen again. I just wanted to update you on how it's going.

First let me thank Li in Florida for the advice. I definitely think that you're right, riding with a more experienced rider would help tremendously. So I hit the Internet trying to find riding groups in my area. I found a riding group that consisted of both men and women that meet regularly to ride in my area. I haven't gotten out with them yet but I will. The moderator of the group has emailed me and welcomed me with open arms. It's been cold and wet here lately but the sun has finally broken through and I think I'm going to take him ( the group coordinator) up on his offer.

I've wanted to learn to ride for a long time and I am determined to become a good, safe and responsible rider. I am determined to be proficient at riding and I know that as with everything it will take time and lots of practice. With the support and wealth of knowledge of my VTwin Mama sisters out there I know that I will make it.

Just a small note: I read this site everyday and see all the questions and comments from you wonderful women. It makes me curious as to what you look like and what your machines look like. I would like to petition for more pictures in the gallery so that I can match the names with the faces. For the lady's that I have already matched names with faces I wanted to say "ya'll are lookin' good out there!!"

Big hugs VTwin Mama (Petra) -- you know how I feel about you, nothing but love baby. Keep up the good work). Be safe ladies, – Karen

Dear Karen,
This is the type of letter that makes me so proud to have created the VTwin Mama site and kept "her" going these last three years, despite my personal floundering on how to make it all work (from time to time!). Kudos to you for seeking out a riding group -- very, very VTwin Mama sister smart of you! We'll be looking for a picture of you and the group whenever you're ready! – Mama

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Thursday, March 18

Dear VTwin Mama,
Hi. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Michele with the HD 883 Hugger Sportster. I have already dropped my bike once and then when I retook the class (I already passed the first time....barely). I did worse. Well, now that the weather is getting warmer, I have been thinking a lot about riding again. I am still nervous and a bit intimidated by my Sportster. I can totally relate to Karen from Texas' feelings. I really want to ride and would love nothing more than to get better at it this year. I told my husband I heard the 2004 Sportsters are better (and less top heavy) than the 2003s. Also I was thinking of mentioning to him maybe I could trade down and get something smaller like a Honda Rebel to help my confidence, but I'm not sure how he will react. Thanks for listening!! – Michele

Dear Michele,
Yes, of course I remember you! You're one of my first Jitters Page postings! If I may be so bold to say, it seems that you have a general plan in mind for yourself and how to achieve a good feeling about riding, but are worried that suggesting a "step back" on bike size to your husband might not be met with cheers.

Ha! I think ultimately your hubby dearest wants a confident riding partner to share the experience and thrill of riding side by side for the long run. HOW you achieve this is BEST decided by you. He cannot gauge your nervousness, your learning curve, or do the "work" of learning to ride for you. It's time to lay the cards on the table.

Does your household budget allow for the purchase of a used 250cc bike? Check the newspapers in your area and give a call to local riding groups to see if anyone has "graduated" up to a bigger bike and is looking to sell a smaller one.

I have also been receiving personal notes from women who are reporting how HAPPY they are that they contacted a local women's riding group -- to find a mentor! Someone other than hubby dearest (who might be too "close" to the source) that can share parking lot practices and short runs in the neighborhood. Do not discount this idea. Check my Cool Links page for the top riding organizations -- then GET ON THE PHONE OR EMAIL them!

Nobody can make you do anything you do not wish to do or are not ready for or feel overwhelmed by. Find the solution in your heart and then do a reality check with your husband. It's time to face "the music" with sound, practical suggestions that are going to get you riding with confidence. Now, GO DO IT! This is your Mama talking! – Mama ("Whatever you can, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." -- Goethe)

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Saturday, March 20

For Michele who is having big bike jitters:

I am a new rider as well and am quite intimated by riding a bigger bike. I got a tip from this site to check out the Motorman's Ride Like a Pro site. So I did just that. 

They "just" came out with a VHS and DVD video for Ride Like Pro for Women. The VHS is ready to ship now and the DVD will be ready for shipment on 3/23. It deals with women challenging the weight of a bigger bike.

I just ordered mine and should get it soon so I can't say if it is helpful or not, but I have heard awesome testimonies on his Ride Like a Pro videos and this one is for women. I believe his wife is the rider. Anyway, check it out it is on this website www.ridelikeapro.com. Hope it helps! – Kristie (note from Mama: WOW -- this is great news! And thanks for letting me know! $24.95 for the Ride LIjka Pro for the Ladies video. I'm going to update my Reading Sources page and Jitters page to announce this as well!)

And here is an update from Michele herself:

Hi. Just wanted to give you an update on my situation. Last week my husband and I were talking about motorcycles and riding and believe it or not, HE suggested a smaller starter bike for me. There is a God!! I supposed I was afraid to admit to him that I was having trouble with the Sportster because I would feel like a disappointment and failure.

Also next month I am taking a one day practice riding class the MSF offers through a local college. I found a riding buddy through the local H.O.G. chapter and hope to get together with her this Summer. Thank you for your words of support and letting me know it's o.k. to take a step back. (note from Mama: major yahoo for you! I'm so excited that you'll be moving forward in pursuing your dream of riding in a way that makes sense for you. This is a testimony to every woman out there who isn't sure she can really do it. Congrats and hugs to your hubby for being there for you!)

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Saturday, April 3

Dear VTwin Mama,
I have been riding for about a year and can't seem to stop worrying about "what could happen." I rode with my husband for about 3 years and never felt this kind of anxiety. I am considering selling my 2001 Sportster because the worry I am feeling is taking over the joy of riding. I have not had any bad experiences but just can't seem to relax. I can honestly say I "loved" riding with my husband but I can only say I "like" riding my own. Are these still new rider jitters or is this just not for me? – Very Frustrated

Dear Very Frustrated,
This is a hard letter to answer. I so very much want to encourage you to continue on your solo journey but don't want to make you feel that by rejoining your husband on the back is a wrong thing to do.

So, let's dig deeper into your feelings about not being able to relax. Ask yourself this question: am I worried about what could happen because my riding skills are at a level that I'm not sure I could handle a bad situation on my own?

If the answer is yes, then you may want to consider exploring additional ways to hone your riding skills to increase your knowledge of the bike, how it handles, and how you can become a master of its energy, power and characteristics.

If the answer is no, then I think there is no shame in admitting that solo riding is just not for you. You would not be the first, nor will you be the last. While you did not indicate your husband's thoughts, I caution you that the most important person in this decision is YOU, and while friends and family may have an opinion, and are allowed to voice them, ultimately you must seek that which is right for YOU. 

Amazingly enough, I think the true answer for YOU is really something you already know deep in your gut -- so have the courage to let it out and then get on with enjoying the ride, solo or not. I'm behind you 100% no matter what you choose. You're a brave sister for bringing up this issue and I wish you the best of luck in the future. Now, go out and figure the best way to enjoy it! – Mama

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Monday, April 5

For Very Frustrated who is considering giving up solo riding as she is constantly worried and can't relax after a year:

Picture this: it had been 20 years since I rode solo, and then only on dirt bikes...  I get my bike up and going after a weekend of working on it (it had been sitting for 2 years in someone else's garage, until I bought it).  I had forgotten how to downshift, had to be coached (while going down the road).  I have dropped my bike 3 times now, the first two from a standing position, the third time on the street while doing about 15 miles an hour (sand on the road, tried to stop, bike took on whole new personality: rode the  rest of the run anyway, even though I bruised a bone in my left hand, in a lot of pain).

My determination to not let all that stop me got me to continue riding solo.  But... I still have days when I look at the bike wistfully and wish I could get over my fear of the unknown.  It absolutely overwhelms me some days.  I don't like riding behind my hubby, he hot rods the shifting process slamming his bike and passenger around (he used to race and ride on dirt, hill climbing and such).  On the days I can't handle riding  solo, I do ride with hubby.  I enjoy the ride and don't worry about it.  A little worry while riding solo is a healthy thing in my book.  You need to worry about what the other drivers out there are doing or seemingly going to do.  It will save your skin especially when you're unsure in a tricky situation.  Pull over if you need to, I do.  Hubby usually asks me at that point, "are you alright?" "Yeah, can't explain it, but just needed to pull over."  It's ok.  It's healthy, take your time and don't stress over it.  Some days you'll ride with hubby and others you'll prefer to ride your own.  It's ok, don't let it get to you.

Great issue, by the way.  It lets the rest of us out there with the same problem know we're not alone. Thanks. – Traci, KCMO (note from Mama: what a wise VTwin Mama sister you are . . . I was thinking it had to be one or the other, but you're soooo right . . . it can be both. I'm going to email VF and make sure she reads your letter!)

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Tuesday, April 6

More for Very Frustrated who is considering giving up solo riding as she is constantly worried and can't relax after a year:

Great advice from Mama. Nothing wrong with riding one-up -- the point is whether you are one-up or solo, you are riding and enjoying being on a motorcycle, out and about, and part of the freedom and thrill. You go, Girl! No matter what you decide, you have a lot of us cheering for you.– Linda in Texas (note from Mama: what a wonderful letter of support. It's so important that women (and men) understand that that solo riding women aren't looking down their noses at passenger riding women -- that takes a special talent and love as well!)

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Wednesday, April 7

Dear VTwin Mama,
I took my MSF course May of 2003. I passed the course on a Rebel 250. I had no problems, I could even do the figure 8 without having to put my feet down. I really enjoyed this experience and I was very proud of my achievement. My husband ( being the great man that he is) decided he wanted to buy me a bike. My problem you say. . . well my husband has a 1998 Honda Shadow 750 Ace, 2003 Yamaha R1 and and 2002 Zrex. If you noticed the last two bikes listed here are Crotch rockets. 

The Shadow has not been ridden in over a year. ( a shame). I tried it one time and dropped the bike as I could not hold it up when I came to a stop. So I was too scared to try to use it as my bike (I am 5'2" tall and could barely touch with tip toes). So he took me shopping for bikes, we decided since he was in the crotch rocket phase that in order for me to ride with him I needed bike to keep up with him. 

So we say a Katana 600 and took it home. A beautiful bike that I once again had to tip toe on to hold it with both feet. My first ride I made it 10 miles on the back roads, no problem. Drove it back home to get a jacket because our friends wanted to go out for a ride that night. 

On my way back to my friends house, as it was getting dark, I am stopped on a hill at a stop sign. The hill was banked as well. Well needless to say I dropped the bike again and cracked my helmet on the ground. . . thank goodness for helmets. 

So my husband decides that bike is not the bike for me and gets me a a Honda Shadow 600 (Gawd how I loved this bike) My first trip out was a dream! My second trip out was a disaster. For some reason I forgot how to make a left turn from a stop. Ran right over a curb, destroyed my bike, broke my foot. I spent the next two months recovering, thinking over can I ride, is this the thing for me. My husband by this time, I have bought you two bikes you just can't ride. 

Well, I have not given up. I am now a owner of 2003 Ninja 500. But this is my real dilemma, I would be great if I could to ride in a parking lot, I would have no problems riding.  But the traffic and road construction here scares me.  My husband wants me to ride with his crotch rocket group at night.  The can reach speeds of 100mph or better. I tell him I am not ready for that yet. But he only gets frustrated and tells me until I do it I will never be ready. But I have to admit, I have dropped the bikes so many times that I am scared. I have asked him to take me out so I can get some experience riding in, saddle time as they call it.  but the moment 11:00 on Saturday and Sunday rolls around . . . his buddies are already calling him to go riding.  Meanwhile all I hear about is how that bike needs to be ridden. Which I agree, but I don't want to do it alone. What if I drop the bike and can not get it back up? I know I am making a lot of excuses but frankly, I am just scared of getting hurt and being alone.

What can you advise me to do?  I have tried to get back into a MSF class again but they are all booked till September. Lonely and Scared, – Ladykruzer

Dear Ladykruzer,
My heart goes out to you. And I appreciate what a great guy your husband is for trying to help, and getting you so many bikes to try, and . . . and . . . and . . . it's time to cut the apron strings from him. He wants to go fast with his buddies, and he doesn't have time or patience for your needs. 

It's time to pay strict attention to what YOU need. My suggestion is to immediately contact any and all women you can find in your area until you find a mentor, someone who understands what you're going through (because she remembers her beginning rides), has time to doodle around slowly in the neighborhood you're comfortable in, and slowly help you regain confidence.

So, start by checking for any listings in my Let's Ride section -- can't guarantee that the women listed in your area (if there are any) would be willing to help, but a nice email explaining what you're looking for will get the ball rolling, so to speak! Then, go to my Cool Links page where every major women's riding organization has a link at the top, click on their sites, and find the chapter nearest to you. Repeat emailing strategy.

My opinion is that your husband is just pushing you too fast for your comfort level and you're jazzing in the brain 'cause you can't "perform" to his expectations. It's great that he is SO looking forward to you riding with him and the "buds," but let's face it -- it's just not realistic, and you are SO NOT ALONE in this. Now, go forth and email. You need your own buddy! – Mama

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Thursday, April 8

For Ladykruzer whose jitters are getting the best of her and is scared and alone:

I know the feeling, because I only recently started riding, and traffic is scary. I have a friend I ride with, but he likes to ride fast, too, and I just didn't feel ready at first to keep up with him. In fact, for a while I actually found it very stressful to go with him. So, for more "saddle time," I started going out on short trips (15-20 min) by myself so I could go at my own pace and learn how to handle my bike. At first I just went around the block a few times, but then I started to go a little farther out. I tried to avoid heavy traffic and stuck to back streets where there was little traffic and the speed limit was slow. After a short time, I started gaining confidence, and am finally to the point where I am really loving riding. I am now able to pretty much keep up with my riding buddy, although he still takes risks I am just not willing to take. But, when he zooms off to "have fun," I just ride along and know that eventually he'll slow down and I'll catch up to him. And in the meantime, I'm having a great ride.

I would suggest to Ladykruzer that she do just that -- take short rides around the neighborhood, ALONE, just to get the feel of the bike, then go a little farther when she's ready. The most important thing is for you to go at your pace. DO NOT let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren't capable of. Her husband and his friends may like to go 100mph, but there are very few people who are actually qualified to do that, let alone capable of it, and I doubt they're going to a track, so on top of everything else, they're breaking the law. – Li in Florida (note from Mama: thank you so much for sharing your similar feelings and experiences -- this type of letter goes a long way to letting other riders know that they ARE NOT ALONE  when they express fear but a burning desire to keep at it!)

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Monday, April 19

For Ladykruzer whose jitters are getting the best of her and is scared and alone:

I ,too, can relate to Ladykruzer, because I have been seriously thinking about selling my new bike I just upgraded to in October. I almost dropped it in my driveway last December, and haven't ridden it since. I have sat on it and started it, and I look through catalogs for accessories to customize it, but I can't seem to make myself go out on it. I am afraid I will never ever get off of the small country roads around where I live. My daughter said "So what? Just ride the country roads and enjoy."  Part of the fear is our driveway is steep and has gravel. My husband keeps promising to fix it, but so far hasn't. Part of me says if you aren't going to ride get rid of it, the other part says you want to ride and you always feel better when you do. So at the present time, I will just keep reading your site, because believe it or not, it gives me much encouragement and hopefully these Oklahoma winds will die down enough for me to work up the courage and ride. I truly thank you for your site, Petra, please stay with it. God bless, – Snojean (note from Mama: thank you for letting Ladykruzer know that she SERIOUSLY is NOT ALONE! I sympathize with what you're going through right now, but am encouraged to hear that reading this site is keeping you "in the loop" with others and I'm hearing a tiny voice in you that says "I'm not ready to give up yet." As the driveway is the thing that is getting "your goat" right now, I would suggest that you ask your husband to wheel or ride that bike down the driveway until such time that he can do something with it, or, is it possible to park or store it nearby until such time so you don't have to navigate the driveway right now, perhaps a good neighbor? Just noodling some thoughts around so the driveway doesn't become your undoing!)

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Tuesday, April 20

For Snojean who is getting spooked about the steep gravel driveway:

Chin up girl! You didn’t even drop the bike, which is more than most of us can say! I snapped my mirror off trying to back out of a gravel driveway and lived to ride another day. Get out on those country roads THIS weekend. I live in Oklahoma , so I happen to know it is going to be in the 70’s. Get the old man to pave that drive, or have him back it out for you.  If you get out there and have fun, pretty soon going into town won’t even seem like a big deal. You just need to get comfortable on your new bike, but you can’t do that if you don’t get on it and go down the road. The more comfortable you get on the bike, the more confident you will feel. I promise. Oklahoma winds ARE terrifying. If you haven’t ever road in them, you can’t understand the fear. It is worse than Kansas , and everyone knows what happened to Dorothy. Just keep your eyes on the horizon and a loose grip on the handlebars. You get SORT of used to it after a while. Hang in there and don’t give up, you won’t regret it. I’ll ride with you if you don’t want to go alone! – dij (note from Mama: well Dorothy never had to contend with the winds here in Northern Nevada and that's all I have to say about that! Thanks for your encouraging words and no-nonsense advice!)

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Wednesday, April 28

Dear VTwin Mama,
OK....I'll admit it, I'm a wimp! My husband has a Harley Ultra Classic and not wanting to be left behind or ride behind him (Lord knows I won't hardly ride in a car with him!) I bought a Honda Shadow 600 to "learn" but I'm traumatized and intimidated by the bike, mainly because my son-in-law was riding a "Big Dog" in 2001 and was almost killed by a stupid motorist trying to turn across in front of him. Any suggestions on how I can overcome this fear? – Pat in Georgia

Dear Pat,
First off, you are NOT ALONE in having jitters in your beginning journey into riding a motorcycle. You only have to go to my Jitters page to realize this!

The best and most experienced bikers cannot avoid an idiot cager that crosses their path -- but what they can do is master the handling characteristics of the bike so that they have the best possible chance of avoiding/surviving the problem that is put in front of them. This means learning how to steer, slow down, and maneuver the bike quickly in crisis situations. This means knowing how your bike reacts to the different things you do.

Practice is the key. To help you, consider visiting my Reading Sources page -- you'll find an excellent instructional video for sale and books that talk about the entire riding experience, from basics to panic situations. Then, get that bike to an empty parking lot on a quiet Sunday morning, set up cones and markers and begin learning how to make the bike work WITH you! If necessary, build more confidence by signing up for a riding course -- they'll put you on a 250cc bike and put you through your paces. Then, you can take that 600 beastie and practice the same things you learned at the course!

Please don't be discouraged -- it takes time, loads of it, to become an accomplished rider -- but if you're willing, it can be done and you'll be in position to enjoy your riding despite the potential dangers out there on the road. – Mama

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Wednesday, April 28

Dear VTwin Mama,
Hello. I read the website and I'm looking for advice. I am a new rider. 5' tall and 13Olbs. I was in a hurry to get my first bike. I found a 1983 Honda Magna V45 750cc. I cannot touch flat on my feet, and the weight of the bike is intimidating. It's impossible to walk it on non-paved surfaces.  I only have 1 month riding experience. I have a hard time walking the bike in and out of parking spaces.  I feel insecure due to my height, when it comes to stops and parking. Is the bike to big for me or do I just need more experience? A mechanic told me that lowering it would impair it's safety. Is this true for this model? Should I get a smaller bike? Thanks. – T.

Dear T.,
Ok, I feel the panic vibing off your letter, but please don't despair -- despite your haste in purchasing your first bike, you've got a number of options in front of you.

First, sell the bike. It sounds all wrong for you.

Second, if this not financially feasible, or you really want to stick with it, take a riding course if you have not done so already. They'll put you on a 250cc bike so you can get your feet wet and learn basic skills. Your one month panic riding is not meeting your needs at this time.

Third, this bike can be lowered by shaving some of the padding out of the seat, buying a new seat (check the Corbin line) or adding some height to yourself by adding a little bit more heel to your riding boots (a good shoe shop should be able to do this).

Fourth, but not least (!), keep the bike, do the above, and learn from it. Then, when you've got some time under your belt, go back to the first suggestion, but now you'll be in position to better judge the make/model that is going to be your dream come true! Check my Motorcycles for Short Riders list for some suggestions! – Mama

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Thursday, April 29

Dear VTwin Mama,
Hi ladies
-- I first wrote on the first day of spring wishing you all the best. My deal is that I haven't rode in 17 years. I had 2 small Honda's, one 74 Super Sport 400 (hotwired ta' boot, which was my learning bike, loved it), Then I bought a 250 Rebel, mind you that was a looong time ago.

Well, I took the intermediate course on 4/23 on a freezing, drizzly, cold day here in MA, just the way a girl likes it after 17 years. On small 125 Suzuki's. I loved it and took to it with soo much excitement. In the meantime, I was looking at bikes, my wallet and the road. Well ladies, I found a 650 VStar Yamaha left over from 2003 - yes, zero miles and got a great price. So I bought her, now I gotta drive her. I'll tell ya, I'm nervous as a cat up a tree; she's so much heavier, but just as small. BUT, I cannot wait till I get her home to moms yard. (I have an apt) The dealer is 45 minutes away, so my next hurdle is getting someone to drive it to moms house, then she's mine. I'm just going to take it slow.

I feel confident, got all the gear, practice what I learned 'all the time in my head, plus I do the hand movements and read to totally understand the manual.' So I'm ready, but jittery too. They have Blessing of the Bikes in a town close by on Mothers Day, now that is something I want to partake in. We can do this!!

Oh yeah, go and join a women's riding group, I joined WOW, they are so welcoming and encouraging. Invited me into their group without even joining or having a bike then. I attended a mechanic day for my first visit - another confident booster. WE Can Do This! This is a wonderful website, Godspeed – Tracey in Lowell, MA

Dear Tracey,
I am soooo excited for you, despite your little jitters -- these come with the territory of riding (beginning, middle and end of ALL riding!). Hopefully you'll get this bike transported quickly form the dealer and you'll have one or two weekends before the Blessing of the Bikes event. If you're adamant about getting the bike there under your own riding power, talk with the women in your WOW group -- maybe someone is willing to join you in a slower, take your time, ride to the event so that you can participate (back roads, etc.).

But, and this is a big but (!), do NOT push your luck. If you're not ready in time, then so be it. It'll be there next year for you. I caution you on taking on too much at this time, because a bad experience at this juncture will be more difficult to overcome, and is it really worth it?! You've got a life time of riding ahead of you, so consider this carefully and trust your gut instinct. Why be a cat up a tree when you can be a contended kitty in front of a bowl of milk (at least for now)! – Mama

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Tuesday, May 4

Dear VTwin Mama,
I have recently purchased a V-Star 650 for myself.  We also have a Harley FLHT touring bike. After a year of riding behind my husband, I decided that I wanted to learn to ride and get a bike of my own. My husband has encouraged me all the way. He started teaching me all the things I needed to learn before even getting on a bike.

One evening he asked me if I wanted to pull out Electra Glide Standard into the garage, and I said of course. Dan stood by me the whole time and guided me through the steps until I pulled the bike into the garage.

As I stated earlier, I purchased the V-Star 650 (used) two weeks ago. We have a up slanted driveway, so every evening my husband had me pull the bike up and then back the bike down the driveway and then pull the bike into the garage.

Dan was out of town last week and I decided to take the bike out into the street  and pull into drive.........I did it....then I decided to take a ride down the street and turn the bike around and pulled into the driveway....my confidence was built and I then decided to take a little spin in the neighborhood....for two hours... it was the greatest feeling.

I take my riding course on 4/30/04.........since I know this course will teach me a lot more in how to handle my bike, I am so looking forward in taking this course,  also I will be less SCARED TO DEATH, in riding my own bike.

My husband, Dan , is my greatest supporter and one last bit of info, Dan asked that I clean our FLHT (after riding for 10 hours on 4/18/04) and pull into garage after I am finished -- and off to work he went. – Cyndi R. in Corpus Christi, TX

Dear Cyndi,
I am soooo proud of you on soooo many levels! First for taking the challenge of riding your own bike, second for being smart and signing up for a course (hope it went well last weekend) and third for taking the opportunity (when presented) to try riding another bike under the guidance of your wonderful husband -- it's great to have that level of support! I was a bit taken back by the last sentence (cleaning the bike), but then remembered, MOST riders cherish their bikes to the level that NO ONE touches it -- not for any reason -- so I consider it a "yahoo" that your husband trusted you with the care of the bike and the continuing to ride it out of his presence. You've come a long way already and we applaud you at every step!

Now that you've got the course behind you, it's time to practice, practice, practice on your own bike. Empty parking lots on quiet Sunday mornings is an excellent opportunity to "mimic" the riding course and master the very same skills you worked on, but this time with your own bike. Draw chalk lines for stopping situations and set up cones (or something similar) to place corners, turns and intersection scenarios in your reach. It's a very useful way to gain control over the beastie in a non-threatening environment. You'll find your practice time will serve you well on the road -- it begins to take the guesswork out of how the VStar will handle when under the pressures of traffic and you're likely to make less "mistakes" when a cage is leaning on the horn for you to get a move on! – Mama

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Thursday, May 6

From Rhonda in regards to dropping her bike on a steep gravel driveway:

Well, dij is right!  I DID drop my bike in the very beginning and that set the stage...from then on that was my biggest fear and it definitely hampered the process.  But I wanted to ride so I hung in there (with the gentle encouragement from hubby) and even tho my biggest fear came true more than once, I stayed with it and am glad I did.  That problem has passed and I get better and more comfortable every time I go out.  I always try to look at it this way..."what do you want, what does it cost, are you willing to pay the price?"  You want to ride, you have to make adjustments to do so, and it WILL be worth what you have to do to get it done. You can do it!  And you'll be glad you did!  Now get out there and ride, sister! – Rhonda from Springfield, MO (note from Mama: ahhhh, nothing like true confessions to help out every reader who thinks they are alone in the "ickies" that happen -- 'cause it just ain't true!)

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Saturday, May 8

Dear VTwin Mama,
Hey everyone.  I have a question about windshields.  The one on my bike, a 750 Shadow, is high enough that I have to look through it when I ride.  With my glasses on and the shield on my helmet, I feel that having the windshield to look through is just too much . . . I feel that my vision is kind of obscured.  I'm planning to have it cut down but I'm wondering what everyone else has.  Do you have windshields and, if so, are you looking over them or through them?  I'm thinking this is probably a personal preference.

I haven't been able to ride since last December.  I found out that I have a rare brain disease and a brain aneurysm.  I've been on a leave-of-absence the entire year and spent a month in the hospital . . . three weeks in ICU in Ft. Worth, then a week at The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.  So, I've had big life-altering things to think about.  Fortunately, I'm doing very well and hope to return to work in a few weeks.  Of course, I also hope to start riding again soon.  I'm been living vicariously through everyone on the site.  What a wonderful site it is!!

I'm going to be nervous to ride again...not only due to the amount of time I haven't been able to ride, but also because I've undergone a very serious health crisis.  I'm wondering if that's going to affect how I view riding now.  I'm very fortunate to be able to have most of my health back and know how frightening it is to think that it could be gone forever.  I think that I'll be much more cautious, if nothing else . . . not that I haven't been already.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that.  I really enjoy this site.  I can relate to so many people who write in.  Great job, Petra!! – Linda

Dear Linda,
Wow, I'd say you had a few other things to think about this year! I'm so happy to hear that health-wise you are gaining a measure of return to your happy self -- I can't even begin to imagine what you must have gone through during this period. It just makes me rethink my piddley little crisis's and reflect that sometimes it's good to hear from people whose life challenges are much larger -- it tends to take the whine out!

As to the windshield, I myself prefer something high enough to cut the wind but low enough that I'm looking over it when I ride. Especially in Spring when bug splat is at its highest! Just cutting the blunt force from my chest keeps my head from taking all the strain. Funny thing is, depending on your height in the saddle, windshields are tricky to "measure" in terms of correct effect. I'm thinking it's worth a shot to trim your current one down so it meets your exact requirements. Let's see if other readers share their thoughts!

Now, you've been visiting my site long enough that you can already hear what I would suggest for when you're ready to ride again! Take it slow and easy, head for an empty parking lot and get some practice time in. You'll want to regain your feel for the bike's handling characteristics -- set up a few markers to mimic traffic situations and get your smoothness back for starting, stopping, turns, curves and just a general overall sense of it.

As to how your health crisis will affect your actual mental thinking on the road . . . well, that's one only you'll be able to find out by going out and trying. I would suggest that you keep your initial rides to the local area, with treats built-in for small accomplishments (I find a DQ ice cream to fit the bill perfectly!). It's a wonderful way to build confidence and address any riding concerns you might be experiencing without being a hundred miles away from home. Now, smile . . . you're about to continue your adventure in riding with a new perspective . . . and I think it's wonderful! – Mama

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Monday, May 10

Dear VTwin Mama:
I decided to keep my '82 Yamaha 185 for now. My husband painted it and put a solo set on. It looks so much nicer. I enjoy riding but I am still on the back roads. When I get up to 40 I feel like I am flying. I want to get on the two lane and go to our small town that's only 5 min. away. The speed limit is 45 but the traffic goes much faster. How can I get up to speed and be comfortable? Thank you. – Judy

Dear Judy,
Congrats on getting the 185 fixed up so you like it -- and it sounds like you're enjoying your riding time but are still very much in the throes of beginning riding syndrome -- meaning that speed is still newer to you. The fact is that because of the small size and light weight of the 185, you're going to feel the effects of both Mother Nature (wind, most notably) and the relatively larger size of other passing vehicles (which can be intimidating when you have so little bike under you).

But, as you adamant about making this journey, I would advise that you pick the quietest time of day in your area -- usually early Sunday mornings -- when you're least likely to have cars come behind you and push you faster than you are ready to go. Are you ready for a 6am ride?! Dress warm and give it a try! – Mama

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Tuesday, May 11

Dear VTwin Mama:
I just love this website. Thank you for all that you do. I am new to the motorcycle world. I don't know why I decided I wanted a bike, but I did. As soon as I figured out what I wanted (something short, I am only 5'2") I found a used one and bought it. I have taken a MSF course and passed, but haven't got the nerve to get on my bike and go for my first ride. I bought a 1997 Yamaha Virago 250. 

Any advice for first time jitters? I have been told to take a deep breath and just hop on, but I don't know. I loved the riding during the class exercises. I had never driven a bike until I bought mine, as a matter of fact, I have not ridden with any one else much.

My husband bought a bike right after me and of course he has more experience so he takes off on his while I sit at home and sigh. He doesn't go far yet without me but, I want to ride so bad. I have thought about getting a trike just so I can go on the open road. Help, – Biker wanna be in MS

Dear Biker Soon To Be (!),
I am already so proud of you! Why?! Because you have begun the journey into exploring the life style of motorcycle riding and are ready to get going -- almost!

Now, what to do about the jitters. Yes, the "hop on and get going" suggestion is fine, but I'm sensing that you're not ready for the open road quite yet. Not to fear -- I highly recommend that you have your hubby ride YOUR 250 to an empty parking lot on a quiet morning (you follow in the car) -- and get some practice time in without the distractions of traffic and the like. Try your maneuvers just like you did in the course. 

Do this lots, even if it takes many, many weeks until you have the confidence to say, "I'm ready for a little neighborhood riding." And have hubby follow you in the car so that you have a support team on hand.

Do NOT think you are the only new rider who has done this! Now, with these thoughts, do you think you're ready to hop on?! Me thinks you are! – Mama

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Wednesday, May 12

For Biker-To-Be who has jitters getting out of the starting gate:

I was just like you. I had to have a bike, wanted one for years, and finally bought one. I didn't start out small, I bought a new Harley. My husband rides like the wind and was always off on his, so I started out exactly like you. I had the "first time jitters" so I did the parking lot thing until I was comfortable with the feel of the bike. 

Then I did the neighborhood, then, when I was ready, I started on the streets. I started early on Sunday morning when there is not a lot of traffic, and just rode. I didn't have the pressure of other cars, and my husband was with me so I had that comfort factor also. I wasn't alone, in case something happened. 

I did fine and gradually I went further and further. That was 8 months ago and now I ride to work on nice days and on the weekends hubby and I just get on and go. I have 3000 miles on my new bike and wouldn't trade it for anything. The key is riding your own ride. Don't do anything until you are comfortable. Practice, practice, practice. Your confidence will grow with every ride! – Megthered (note from Mama: kudos to you Megthered and thanks for sharing so that Biker doesn't feel so all alone in this -- 'cause she just ain't! And that's the truth!)

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Friday, May 14

More for Biker-To-Be who has jitters getting out of the starting gate:

You asked for advice for the 'pre-ride' jitters? My .02 worth would be, go with it. Acknowledge them and know they are there for a reason, then go ride. 

I'm going into my 39th year of riding. Taken extensive, extended training. Earned my certificate as an MSF RiderCoach. And am very confident in my abilities. BUT.... I STILL get the 'butterflies' before I go out. The jitters are gone by the time I reach the end of the driveway because I need to get to the business at hand, but I do get them. I've always thought of them as my cue to get my 'head in the game' and not to become complacent when riding.

I understand about the jitters keeping you from riding too. One tip I've passed on to others that have trouble making that first trip out alone is, go pull out the bike. Start it up BEFORE you put your riding gear on. Then go back in the house and put all your gear on while the bike is out there running and waiting for you. Somehow that doesn't give you as much time to talk yourself out of going. You don't have to go far... just around the block for that first time out. But one small step at a time, each being a little more successful than the last, will help you build your confidence and before long you'll be buzzin' down the road wondering what all the fuss was about. 

Just remember...Jitters can be a good thing, they're your reminder that it's time to put your 'edge'. – Hammerlady (note from Mama: thanks for the timely reminder that getting your head on straight before the ride is just as important as anything else! Side Note for all readers: Hammerlady has provided great amounts of useful information to my readers over the years and runs a great site and discussion forum called Shinny Side Up which is fun to participate in! Just go to http://www.shinnysideup.com)

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Monday, May 17

For Judy who is trying to navigate faster highway traffic for the first time:

Hi, just thought I might drop a line for Judy about people pushing her to fast.  I ride with my girlfriend all the time and she has the same dilemma.  What I have found works quite well is to ride behind her so that traffic coming up behind has to deal with me first!  I don't let them push her and by different riding "body language" they usually don't push me to hard.  She says it gives her the extra security of not having someone right on her tail trying to pass.  If they want to pass, they have to pass both of us and this gives her a "buffer zone."  For Judy, spacing between her husband and herself is the most important issue as you don't want someone passing her husband and trying to squeeze between them. He should be able to adjust his speed to hers to keep that from happening. Hope that helps, and just keep riding and before she knows it 45 will just be a breeze. – Erv (note from Mama: wise words born from first hand solutions -- thanks!)

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Monday, May 17

Dear VTwin Mama:
Absolutely love your site. Very inspiring for new riders like myself who are constantly looking for guidance and a little acknowledgement that it is ok to make mistakes and that we are not alone in the quest to someday truly feel the "Freedom of the Road." 

I have days that I just want to hang it up because I feel that I will never get over the nervous jitters of constantly being on guard for whatever hazard may be ahead. I am so looking forward to the day that I can feel confidant and somewhat relaxed. Will that ever happen????? 

On another note I do have a question. I am female, 5'7" and riding an HD Lowrider. I cannot get a comfortable position for my right foot. Always feel as though my toe is depressing the brake. My husband feels that this is due to the fact that I am new and will eventually get accustomed to this position. I on the other hand feel that this will never happen not to mention the fact that my heel is resting on my pipes and melting. Help -- I do not know what to do short of changing to forward controls which is fairly expensive and I prefer not to go there at this time. Has anyone else complained of this problem? Maybe I'm just to tall for this bike???? Would appreciate any input. Thanks. –  New Rider

Dear New Rider,
Glad you're loving the VTwin Mama site and don't feel so all alone any more! You have only to read my Jitters Page to see that not only are you in good company with the nervous jitters, but that confidence and a more relaxed ride are yours in the future.

The key is practice. There simply is no substitute. And this will partially come with time, but you CAN make a huge difference. How?! Practice. While it's fun to go out on the road and take those day trips, scheduling practice sessions (even one hour per week) in an empty parking lot goes a long way to honing the skills you'll need at every juncture, turn, curve, stop, start, etc. By mastering the basics, you'll soon not have to "pre-plan" every move in your head!

What do I mean?! Well, it was once described to me by a friend, that as a new rider she couldn't just get to a stop light (things experienced riders take for granted and really don't even mentally consider, consciously at least) -- she had to mentally think through every step (shifting, braking, planting the foot, etc.) it took for her to do a controlled, smooth stop at a light. Whew! That's a lot of mental energy! So, consider practice sessions!

As to your right foot position -- well, yes, maybe you'll get more used to it over time, but I'm thinking you've got a problem if you boot is melting on a pipe and you feel like your depressing the foot brake. Unfortunately, I can't think of an alternative solution to forward controls or a new exhaust pipe configuration -- both which are kinda' spendy. I don't think it's a matter of your height, but something is off. Hmmmm . . . readers . . . any ideas? – Mama

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Monday, May 24

Dear VTwin Mama,
It really helps us new riders to hear about others with the same "jitters" . . . I thought it was just me! It's great to know that you "pros" are "holding us up" and are there just to listen to us "babes." Thanks,  – Pat in Georgia

Dear Pat,
My Jitters Pages are some of the most frequently visited pages on my entire site, which just goes to show you that it's an important topic -- and in many cases, both new AND experienced riders get them -- for all sorts of reasons.

If I were to succumb to "psych" talk -- the pages give us an opportunity to express that which is hardest to share in the general riding populace and validate how we feel,  in a safe, secure environment that doesn't talk down to our experiences. If I had a nickel for every jitter I've ever felt over the past 25 years of riding, why I'd be . . . hee, hee, well, you know!  – Mama

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Monday, May 31

Dear VTwin Mama,
Your site is so amazing. So much support just a mouse click away! I too failed my road test - in a MSF class. There were two women - my best friend Donna and me - and 9 guys. I was the ONLY failure. And just like Nancy - I had everything nailed in practice. I wore the wrong boots - they had a bit of a heel and probably didn't help much - couldn't get under that shift and kept losing the brake. The second class was just sitting around sunning while we took our road tests, enjoying the show. And boy did I give them one. I don't think I could have done much worse - well yes, I could have dumped the bike. But I didn't have the mechanical problems, and the teachers were great, and our classmates were so supportive - I only have myself and my public performance issues to blame. I am going back on June 6th and I am determined to pass. Donna has promised to come with me.

Now to the jitters - my husband has a '95 Shadow 600 and to me it is HUGE and SCARY (I am 5'4", about 140 pounds, and at 54 - a bit on the old side to be starting out). I want to start on a small bike (I read your whole section on finding the right bike and sent him excerpts by e-mail) and he insists that small bikes are worthless and dangerous. He insisted on taking me out to practice on the Shadow. I went round and round that parking lot for 2 hours on Saturday, and every time I came to a turn I had to coach myself through it. If that bike was right for me, I would not have still been so terrified after 2 hours. Sunday (May 23rd - our 28th anniversary) we went back again. I went around for about 20 minutes, and in a turn I hit a patch of gravel and fell. The bike took it worse than me but my right leg is all sorts of neat colors and is mighty sore. (Nice anniversary gift - huh? First time the bike ever hit the ground). Even if he gets the part on time to fix the bike, I am afraid to get back on it. 

I have a lead on a Honda Rebel 250 - 1986 - the woman who owns it uses it to teach so it has probably seen better days, but who says a starter bike has to be new and shiny?

My husband hasn't spoken to me since I e-mailed him the letters from your site - oh - except for an ear-splitting F**K YOUR MOTORCYCLE!!!! He screamed that he wouldn't help me register, insure, maintain, etc. and probably won't go to my funeral either. I think it's a guy thing - sorta like not letting go of the remote control. 

So, I am buying the Rebel (if it hasn't been sold yet) and my Donna has promised to help me with everything - she says she loves me too much to let me get back on the Shadow. We had 8 hours of classroom instruction - one of the most important things we learned was not to ride beyond your limitations. 

Why is it that everyone except my husband understands that when you first start to ride you start out on the fat little pony - not the big rodeo horse? – Annie B.

Dear Annie,
First of all, you are NEVER to old to learn anything! And riding sounds like something you that really wish to pursue, so by all means, do so! Kudos to you for taking the class, having the grace to realize not everyone can master something the first time round, and that you'll be heading out to the course again soon. Yahoo to you for your "can do" spirit and attitude.

It is next to impossible to analyze your husband's reaction to all of this. Maybe he's realized that he's not a great teacher (most people aren't!) and no matter what he does, this is YOUR journey to take. He's probably one of those people that just took to riding like a duck to water (there are people out there like that!) and he can't cotton up to your need for more time, instruction, etc. My condolences on his lack of support however -- it's true that friends and family can make or break our resolve -- and I can only add that I truly glad to hear that Donna will be standing by you through your next step.

As you have read, many women report that starting out on a 250cc bike for the initial phase of practice is a grand idea, and if YOU think it's the right step, then go for it. If hubby continues with his conniption fit, calmly tell him that you are the best person to gauge what YOU need and if he thinks that you can't do it without him, he better get a clue. You are neither helpless, friendless or an idiot! If necessary, store the bike at your friend's house! Then straightened your shoulders, chin up, and get on with it! – Mama

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Tuesday, June 1

For Annie who wants to get practice time in on a smaller 250cc bike, but hubby isn't lending much support:

This is for Annie who feels very much like I did when I wrote to you in July, 2002 as "Woe is me." I downsized from my 600 to a Virago 250 after all the support I got here. I put 6500 mile on that great little bike in 4 months. My husband then bought me a brand new 2002 Intruder 800 for Christmas, I loved that bike too and put 24,000 miles on her in 10 months, which included a road trip out west to Colorado. This past October I bought a 2003 BMW R1200C and love it too. I have since put over 13,000 miles on her. All this from someone who was afraid of a 600 bike. Snatch up that Rebel Annie and don't look back. PS: It won't be long until hubby is just an image in your rearview mirror! – Cindy, no longer "woe is me" (note from Mama: spoken from first-hand experience -- the best kind I always say! Thanks -- and kudos to your continuing success in your own journey!)

I started out on a Rebel, but more importantly, I know of several people in the area, mostly men, whose primary bike is a Rebel.  That's what they ride, period.  They are fine, solid, reliable motorcycles.  I suppose they might be too light for prolonged highway riding, but otherwise, they're great. – Lili (note from Mama: I agree, the perfect bike for anyone is the one that is perfect for THEM. Thanks for pointing out it's not only women learning to ride that love this bike!)

And now a word from Annie:
I'm still limping, and still have no bike... when I saw it I realized that I was quite misled regarding the condition of the bike. This $900 bike will need about $500 to make it safe and legal. The seller even insisted that I talk to a service guy she knows. I called him up to ask what he thought a ballpark price would be on repairing this bike and he said don't buy it. The mileage is too high (9,000) and it will cost too much to put it on the road and it is a bad deal. Then I told him who recommended him. He said, well, I hope you don't tell her what I said, but don't buy the bike. 

He recommended a Virago 535 - which is probably impossible to find - for the size and weight that would be best for me. So - it's back to the drawing board.... In my head is this little fantasy that when I get back on the test bike - a Suzuki 250 - it will be easy to ride after that monster, and I will ace the test. Meanwhile, I keep buying Lottery tickets in the hopes that I will score enough to buy him the bike he wants so I can get what I want. I think he secretly thinks that if I take his, he can get a new one. Thank you SO much for your support! xxxooo – Annie (note from Mama: well, that last part wasn't a twist I imagined, but then you've been married to him for a long time . . . I think you WILL find the 250cc bike easier to handle the second time around because first of all, you've already been on the course and second, you sound like you've got more p's and q's together to tackle it! If you are in the mind to continue pursuing a 250cc bike for yourself to start out on, go to this page and you'll see two links at the top to articles comparing the various makes . . . maybe worth some of your time!)

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Wednesday, June 2

More for Annie who is thinking practice time on a smaller bike is just right:

I would like to recommend to Annie that she go and sit on a Suzuki Savage 650 at a dealer and then sit on the Suzuki 250.  Not only sit on them but try pushing them around on the dealer floor while sitting on them to see how well they are balanced and which one would fit her better. I had ridden a Savage 650 for about a year to get my feet wet again and found it to be very easy to ride and light enough to handle without anyone's assistance.  

The weight difference between the two bikes (250 vs 650) is about 50 lbs.  Plus you are actually closer to the ground on the 650 by about 2/10 of an inch.  I know it isn't much, but I feel you could ride this bike for years to come and not have to move up if you never wanted too. Good Luck with your search and please do keep practicing and riding.  There is nothing better than the thrill of riding your own bike at your own speed!!!! – Lou : ) (note from Mama: hmmm . . . interesting comparison, especially about the weight differential -- it's a great suggestion -- thanks!)

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Thursday, June 3

Dear VTwin Mama,
I'm really embarrassed....had been out for a couple of hours on my little Kawasaki and was loving it. Was pulling into my own driveway when I dropped the bike!!! (really red faced here!) Not sure what happened, other than I didn't stay focused on the ride...maybe too hard on the front brake. Not sure, but the bike went down and me with it. No big damage to either of us, other than the ego thing. Guess what I'd like to relay to the other readers is to never take anything for granted. You may be in your own driveway, but the ride isn't finished until the bike is securely parked; stay focused on the ride! Thanks for a great website and keep up the good work! – Becky

Dear Becky,
I LOVE letters like this because it reminds of the first time I dropped my bike! I had just started riding my bike to work and was parking it and didn't realize I was on a slight down slope. As I tipped it to rest it on the kickstand, I realized my mistake, but it was too late! I could have died of embarrassment, but as luck would have it, the earth did not open up and swallow me and I had to face my oopsie. After all these years it STILL makes a great campfire story, but I also remember exactly how it felt at that moment. Uck!

I think by sharing your own tumble you did two things: you shared an important thought and learning lesson and you found a way to get it out and admit what happened -- a great first step to putting it in its proper perspective, letting it go, and eventually, you'll find the humor in the whole mess! – Mama

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Tuesday, June 8

For Annie B. who failed the first course test and hubby isn't supportive:

I am 40 soon to be 41 this June 17th, and I just got back on two wheels after 20 years. I had been wanting a bike for a couple of years and my husband was going to buy me one for my b-day last year, but if I waited for him I'd still be waiting for my stupid bike as he called it then. I have a 1991 883 Hugger, I didn't want a shiny new bike that I can drop and pay out the ying yang to fix. Especially because I knew that I was almost like a new rider,  when I got on it for the first time I was shaking like a leaf and could of made a milk shake on the handlebars. Thanks to this site I have also learn to pick my 500lb bike up all by myself, they should teach that in the MSF course, which I took because there was no way I was going out on the street the way I was riding.

I want to say you are half way there, don't stop now! I know it can be hard to work with the one you love, my husband and I own a landscaping business and it nearly tore us apart. There are just some things people can not do together like critiquing each other. A lot of words come out that really should not be said, but you know that it is only because that is the way that person is..

My first bike was a 250 Yamaha and you really have to go with what you like and feel comfortable with most important, you wouldn't ask him his opinion about what type of pantyhose to buy, he could care less. Once he sees you working on YOUR bike he will be there in a heart beat, and why do you need him to register your bike you have a drivers license which I am sure you got with out him and actually it might be cheaper if you got the insurance in your name only. I would look around for that, I have my stupid bike in my name as well as the registration and insurance and I bought a brand new trailer to haul around. I only have 100 miles under my belt, but I have many rallies that I would like to go check out with or with out hubby. Usually with..

So just think in a year from now, you will have many miles under your belt and when he sees you riding down the road then he is going to say "Hey that's my girl riding on that bike." and look at you a bit different.  Live To Ride Safe – ST (note from Mama: thanks so much for letting Annie B. know that she's not alone on the hubby-support issue -- lots of words of wisdom to keep her sane going down the road! And kudos to you on your own journey -- way to go! You'll love this next letter!)

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. . . and now from Annie B. herself . . .

Tuesday, June 8

Dear VTwin Mama,
O Joy!!! O Rapture!!! I passed my road test!!!! My hands are still shaking!!!

I got there (MSF Class) at 7:30 - before the class arrived, and stayed for the whole class. I watched them go through the same exercises I would be tested on (again) and waited - in the rain - for my turn. When they broke for lunch a guy came over for a re-test, and it was just the two of us, the two instructors, his girl, and my best pal Donna. They sent us through the S-box again and again, and finally I said to the instructor - screw the S-box - I'll eat the 8 points, I'm never going to get this and it's just making me nervous. Well, I passed the rest by the skin of my teeth - but I passed. Don't worry out there - I won't be on the road for a while - I'm going to take it slow and practice a lot in parking lots (once I get my bike).

It seems every bike shop in the area is selling monsters and crotch-rockets so there aren't many 250's to be found. I located one place with Suzuki GZ520s and Rebel 250s so I am going there to check them out. I know the Suzuki - that was what we used in class. The instructor recommended the Suzuki, - but I am going back to the comparison links on this site before I make up my mind.

Now I just have to break the news to Attilla the Husband. His latest -- he won't go bike shopping with me because he doesn't believe in assisted suicide.... – Annie B.

Dear Annie,
Yahoo for you! I'm sooooo proud of you for sticking with it and taking a realistic view of the whole thing! Good luck in hunting out a 250 bike to continue your riding experience on. Had to laugh at the way hubby not-dearest stated the whole shopping thing, but then, he's entitled to his viewpoint. Just keep chugging down your OWN road and you'll get there! – Mama

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Wednesday, June 9

More for Annie B. who now has passed her course (!) but hubby is still showing resistance:

First of all…Congratulations!!!  We are so all proud of you for sticking in there and passing your test!  

Now about your husband.  OH MY GOD.  I just had to write in about his attitude.  I thought my guy was unsupportive when I started riding, and all he did was laugh at me and make me feel stupid.  He certainly never said he wouldn’t come to the funeral of my suicide.  I hope he is only being such a jerk because he is genuinely worried about your safety, and he is not truly a monster.  Thank goodness your girlfriend is there for you.  

I just wanted to suggest that when you go look at Suzuki’s, you check out the 650 Savage.  It is not much heavier than the 250, and has a very low center of gravity. It really seems like a smaller bike, but can still keep up when you are ready to go faster.  Maybe hubby would feel better about it since he is so opposed to the 250.  I learned to ride on a Savage, and loved it.  It is hard to find used ones, but new ones are fairly reasonably priced.  I thought it was a great starter bike.  It is awesome that you are sticking to your guns, and getting the bike that is right for YOU.  Ride safe. – dij (note from Mama: good message of support here and a again, thanks for pointing out that the 650 could conceivably be considered in lieu of the 250.)

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Thursday, June 10

Dear VTwin Mama,
Where do I begin? I was going to wait until June 11 because that's when I first wrote to you a year ago but Annie B's letters prompted me to jump on it now. My heart goes out to her. I had such horrible jitters riding my 600 Shadow (VLX). We were getting ready to go on vacation, trailered bikes in tow. As it turned out, I had those accelerated jitters for a reason. That bike was too big for me to learn on. I could have eventually learned on that Shadow, but at what price to my nerves and well being? The obsession with it was ruining my life. I wound up quitting while on vacation--- then quickly decided to trade in the VLX for a 250. It was a tearful decision and I took some heat from those who didn't understand. Tough. I needed a night's sleep already.

I had another MSF class coming up and had a smaller bike picked out. I almost gave up entirely as a month passed by before getting back on a bike for the class. Actually, the dealer (State 8 Motorcycles) sent someone to Michigan to pick up the bike they located for me. Little did they know that "how things went with the class" would ultimately determine whether I bought the bike and continued on. You were very supportive of my decision and told me to get going on it so as not to "let the dream die inside me". Powerful words that hit me hard and stayed with me.

The class was great. The instructors were exemplary. I passed the test and bought the Virago 250 from Michigan. It took a few days before I got up the nerve to take it out on my own, but I did. That was something I couldn't do with with the Shadow. Not alone. My husband was bored with going around the neighborhood, so I was really on my own and it was just as well. Nervous as I was, I didn't need his scrutiny on top of it. I putted around the neighborhood whenever I had the chance. I had good days and not so good days but I never gave up. I had planned to bundle up and go out over the winter when it warmed up. I had a plan to get further and further from the house, but the powers that be had slightly different plans for me. I had to tend to some difficult family matters and missed most of those warm winter days. My bike ended up on a charger, with the seat off. Until February.

We had a couple of nice days with temps in the 50s. In Northeast Ohio, in February, that's balmy. Like every other spring (okay, late winter) I could hear bikes everywhere, and this year it was "for me", too. My husband took the charger off my bike and put the seat back on "in case I wanted to take it out" the next day. I was scared again. It had been three months. But he called me out there that evening and encouraged me to put it in gear and putt the length of the garage a few times. It felt good to be on my bike again. That "feeling" was back. Did he instinctively know that this would break the ice for me? I'll never know for sure, but I'd like to believe he did that on purpose. I took my bike out the next morning. I was rusty but everything came back. Hubby worked half a day and when he got home he asked me if I wanted to go back out. I could lead. Kewl.

We had a blast! When we got back, he said he was really impressed! He hadn't ridden with me since vacation when I had all but quit, and couldn't believe how much I had improved. I heard him tell it over and over again to all his friends over the phone. Truth be told, he just caught me on a good day. After that, he kept talking about going further, etc., etc., but I wasn't quite ready for that. I just got started again. I've really had the heebie jeebies about getting out into traffic. We did eventually start crossing main streets. One day while we were out on the bikes, he said "let's go down in the valley" (Cuyahoga Valley: very mild curves and hills, comparatively minimal traffic). Just down and back. It was kinda scary but I was not terrified like I thought I would be. We went further the next day, with frequent stops. The plan was to go down there and back again, but I didn't want to go home. Now we ride the valley all the way to Akron and back. I even rode my bike to the place where I bought it (just above Akron). I was so proud. Every time we stopped somewhere, I couldn't believe I had gotten there ON MY OWN BIKE! We've begun to take detours to get me out on some more curves. And more curves. A bit scary, as is each new step.

One at a time, things tend to take care of themselves. I was so worried about gassing up. I'm still apprehensive, but I'm getting better at it and not as self-conscious. It's hard to see in there. I was worried about stopping on inclines. I've since learned that holding the the clutch just out at the friction point helps. I'm not perfect at it, but it is comforting that my bike is not overpoweringly heavy. So far, I can usually stop it (or at least slow it) from rolling back even without the brake. I've adjusted to downshifting before a red light in case it turns green. It often does, so I just slowly roll until I can go. I don't get down into first gear until I know I have to put my foot down. Can't say enough about clutch control. I was worried about yellow lights. Would I be able to stop in time without panicking? The parking lot practice and that of the MSF classes was not time wasted. And yes, I've been stopped at red lights and turning left, etc., by myself, but my driving instincts take over. It helps to know my partner is there, just up ahead, and I'm not alone.

I still won't go out by myself just yet, other than just around here; my partner is my speed gauge somehow. I still have jitters but it's not as bad; I am in no way out of the woods yet. Sometimes I'm still sloppy but I'm getting better. And now I can appreciate why people want bigger bikes. A bigger bike would afford more power for pulling out or getting up to speed and more stability on the road (not to mention more comfort and better suspension). A head wind going uphill at 55 mph can be grueling on this little bike, where I would certainly feel it less on a bigger bike. This is obvious just from riding pillion behind my husband on his 1100. I try to be as aggressive as my skills will allow to bang through those gears, keep up with traffic, and to stay out of the way of it. I really have to "get on it" to do that. I still have the Shadow and recently sat on it to reminisce. It doesn't seem as big anymore, but I will wait until I'm whipping that little Virago around before I even consider riding the VLX again. Still too scary. I regress enough from time to time without throwing that into the mix. Right now I must ride my own ride and ride within MY limits. God willing, I hope I never forget that.

So to Annie B, I say take heart. I dropped a new Shadow (2001 VLX), crashed it into our front porch, got it fixed, and dumped it again. Ouch! Mine felt big too. I felt like I was straddling a bus. I'm 5'3" and started learning to ride at 46. Sure, my husband was upset at my mishaps, but more scared than mad. I can't help but reason that if a man allows someone to start learning on his bike, whether male or female, he should expect that the bike could be dropped. Duh! Whatever happens, it is YOUR safety that matters. THE BIKE CAN BE FIXED. If you talk to people about their earliest riding experiences, you'll often find that they had mishaps too. My husband started out on a dirt bike and zoomed right into some hedges. The father of a riding friend of mine zipped down the driveway and hit his neighbor's brand new Blazer across the street; he has since ridden all over the country after taking a safety course, etc. This stuff happens to everybody--- well, almost everybody. Those who are holy enough not to have made any early mistakes should lighten up. It could come back to bite them. As for the MSF classes, it really is best to have some riding experience before taking the class. Ohio doesn't seem to have a high pass rate either. I've also heard that Ohio is the third largest in the country in motorcycle registrations. Bikes are thick here. The most I've heard of passing (out of 10-12 students) is five. When I passed the test, at the end of my second try, only three passed in my class. There were a couple guys that had ridden for years and thought they'd automatically pass. They didn't. It's a tough test, but it's tough for a reason--- to help you strive to gain skills. Skills that can potentially save your life! I'd say that's worth a little extra practice. The second time around will be easier because you will know what to expect. That makes a BIG difference. Get a Rebel or a Virago or the Suzuki 250; ride it all you can. The more you ride, the better you get, as the physical aspect of it becomes second nature. And anyway, if your husband wants another bike, couldn't he sell his and buy another one? Same difference, no? One can't pin one's dreams on other people; one has to take responsibility for that oneself. Believe me, he can take responsibility for his own upgrade. And you should get what YOU need. Thank God you have a good friend to lend support.

And to you Petra, finding your site, finding out I was truly NOT ALONE, and finding your gracious help was a turning point for me. Without it I would not be riding today. This experience has spilled over into other aspects of my life. Now everything is a gloriously different color. Thank you and God bless you!
– Linda Carruth

Dear Linda,
Boy, have you come a long way (baby!) in just a year! I think the thing I want to comment most on is that learning to ride is NOT an easy experience for every rider as you so eloquently point out, and good days mix with the lesser good ones, but if the desire is there, then this too shall be overcome. Your experiences to date testifies to that and letters like this trigger memories of every rough patch I've hit in my 25 years of riding, not all of them in the early days!

We sometimes forget that it's ultimately important in every life endeavor to be our own champions. Yes, it's nice to have the support of friends and family, but it comes down to finding the pathways that will lead us to realizing the dreams -- on our own! The power is within ourselves and overcoming the "demons" that keep us from getting to where we want to be is an internal struggle, that if met, makes us stronger in ALL things (as you noted). I love how conquering one challenge changes my outlook on so many other things!

I am of course pleased to no end that the VTwin Mama site has provided a base of support for you, and that you've used it to bolster your spirit when the chips seemed down. I doubt anyone reading this letter didn't empathize in your bad moments and cheer with true heart-felt joy in your good times.

And so here you are on your one year anniversary, in better shape riding-wise than you could have imagined, and even if you thought you would be farther along in skills, etc., the challenges in front of you can now make sense! The dream NEVER dies inside of us unless we let it and I'm glad to hear that step by step, you are making your dream come true, on YOUR terms. You are an inspiration to every women who rides and we are proud to call you our VTwin Mama sister. Big time hugs, – Mama

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Saturday, June 12

Dear VTwin Mama,
I have to tell you what a wonderful site this is....and how much the mentoring has meant to me. I have been reading the posts regularly and recently you had a post about how some days you just are not in the groove. I had one of those days yesterday.

I am 46 and beginning my third season of riding.  I have a 1999 Sportster 1200 sport ("Lucy") and have just acquired a new bike.  New to me anyway...."Annie Pearl".  A 2000 Heritage Soft Class.  I had finally become comfortable with Lucy.  She is fun and so nimble but, not much fun on a real long ride.  So, I bought Annie Pearl for comfort.  I love this bike.  It is so much easier to ride than the Sportster as the weight is in the bottom.  But, am still working with the size.  Not as easy to maneuver around parking lots, tight turns from a stop feel different, forward controls and floorboards, etc.

Anyway, we were going to begin a long ride yesterday, heading in the direction of Laconia.  (As an aside...if any of you ever ride through NH, route 107 is the best windy road with lots of undulations and very little traffic). I decided that I needed to get used to maneuvering this bike and was going to back her out of the garage, turn her around and coast down my driveway.  After much expended effort, about 20 minutes, I finally managed to get to the bottom of the driveway.  I felt exhausted and frustrated at how difficult this was.

I started her up and was just wobbly as heck taking off.  That set the stage.  I just didn't feel right on the corners, moving along too slow, felt nervous and jittery stopping.  In spite of all this, I kept pushing along.  After about 50 miles, we stopped in one of those quaint little New England towns.  You know the ones where there is a gas station, two little convenience stores, and everyone who stops in knows everyone else.  We got to talking to some of the yocals ....motorcycling is so wonderful!  You meet the friendliest people to talk to.  Anyway, a couple pulled in on a bike together.  They were just coming back from 3 days in the White Mountains.  The woman smiled at me and just kept looking in my direction.

Finally, she came over and talked to me.  She was so impressed that I was riding my own.  She was asking me lots of questions and then told me that she had taken the MSF about 5 years ago but, never rode her own after that.  She said seeing me got her all excited again and she was going to go back and take the MSF.  She announced this to her fiancé when he returned.  I was so proud of Kathleen.  I told her that riding a motorcycle gave me a sense of freedom and accomplishment.  That it seemed to empower me in all areas of my life.  We talked some more and I told her about this site.  How wonderful it is...the support and encouragement it gives to other women.  She was really interested.  Anyway, we parted and Kathleen gave me a "you go girl".

Some days you get some wonderful pearls!!!!  Kathleen got me out of my funk and I was so in the groove for the next 60 miles.  And it was FUN!  Thanks Kathleen!!!  Thanks Petra for the site!!!  And Kathleen if you do find this site, look for me under the women to ride with section.  I will ride with you anytime!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! – Shani in NH

Dear Shani,
How does that Rolling Stones song go? Oh yes, " You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you'll get what you need." How appropriate!

A new beastie always presents challenges, but Kathleen reminded you of WHY you ride (and she didn't even realize it!). Your response to her brought you back to the core of what it means to ride and I'm glad that it had an immediate impact.

And that's what I've been trying to do for the last three years with this site -- provide a safe environment for women (and men) to ask their questions and receive a supportive, informative response (from myself and other readers) that make a difference. And that's what it's all about.

So kudos to you and keep practicing on Annie Pearl. Someday the driveway story will make a humorous recollection that you'll enjoy sharing as evidence that not everything is easy, but worth working at! – Mama

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Tuesday, June 15

Dear VTwin Mama,
You and the gang were so wonderful to me and I just wanted to thank you all. Last night my friend Donna's boyfriend rode my new bike (Suzuki GZ250) home from the shop, and today I went for my first solo. I sat there shaking at the end of the driveway, and finally just sucked it in and took off. I rode around our quiet little neighborhood, never going faster than about 25 miles tops, staying on local streets, and passing the same jogger and the same dog walkers over and over. Then I drove past a guy who had his (huge) bike out in the driveway, and he smiled and waved, then another guy waved and I saw his ride in his open garage, and I think I spent the rest of the ride grinning from ear to ear.

My husband will be back home tonight - he's been away on business for a week and a half now. He knows I passed my road test, but I didn't tell him I bought the bike. He is definitely going to be surprised, but not in a good way. I was kind of scared yesterday (not as in "I'm gonna get hit - he wouldn't dare") - but I'm not now. If he loves me so much, how could he not want me to have SO much fun? See you out there - I'll be the one on the little blue bike with the silly grin, – Annie B.

Dear Annie,
Well, it's been three days since you wrote this letter to me, and as I've not gotten a "what an SOB my husband is" letter -- I'm hoping that his acceptance of the bike in the garage is at least on the level of "whine, whine, ok, whine, what the h*ll did you do, whine, yuck, ok, whine."

Meanwhile, big grins back at you. To this day I STILL remember the first rider who waved at me (and the exact stretch of road I was on in Norfolk, VA) and the overall feeling of ultimate joy! As my Grandma says, "they can't take that away from you."

So, hang tough, keep riding, and a big thanks to your friend Donna and her boyfriend for being your rock. – Mama

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Wednesday, June 16

Dear VTwin Mama,
Last summer I became a passenger on my husbands new Yamaha Roadstar Silverado. He had not been riding in many years and thought it would be fun to do again. Up to this point he had and still has a 1981 Harley still sitting in the garage. I was never allowed to be on this bike for whatever reason. But when I got on the back off this Yamaha it was a totally different world. It was fun and exciting. We went out everywhere together.

Then at the beginning of this year I wanted one of my own. So we started looking. I really wanted a V-Star but found the gas tank to wide and uncomfortable for my short legs. So we finally found a Honda Shadow VLX which I truly love.

I started riding it on my own without most input from my husband and did quite well. But after 2 months he started getting real pushy about getting it out on the open rode and doing 55 mph. Every time he brought up the subject I told him to back off and let me handle it. I kept telling him not to push me into doing something I was not ready for.

All said and done, I passed my MSF last weekend and went home and took Shadow out on a short spin. I needed that class to give me some confidence.

So my point being, don't let someone push you to do something you are not ready to do. Everything comes in time. Now all I'm doing is waiting for the Ohio rainy season to end so that I can get out and ride. – Donna

Dear Donna,
This is a message I try to repeat often -- learn and do at your own pace -- and your letter clearly captures this. Well done! And welcome to the world of solo riding -- you're an inspiration to every woman out there who is wondering if she can do it too!
– Mama

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Wednesday, June 16

For Annie B. whose husband isn't supporting her decision to begin learning on a 250cc bike, but she bought one anyway, and her first foray into riding is going well:

HORRAY FOR ANNIE B!!!!!!!!!!! – Darija (note from Mama: now that's a message of support! Now, as I was concerned, and you readers might have been to, I emailed Annie and she noted that hubby not-so-dearest responded with the silent treatment upon finding the much-hated (on his part) 250cc bike in the garage Sunday morning, but after 28 years of marriage, this can be dealt with. All she cares about now is how the weather will be this coming weekend (!) and when the paperwork will come back from MSF so she can get her license! Yahoo!)

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Thursday, June 17

From Annie B.'s son (the continuing saga of learning to ride, but hubby isn't biggest supporter of chosen path:

Here's another round of applause for Annie B. I'm sure her husband will come around soon enough. In the meantime, my best friend happens to be at about the same point (has a bike, just a little paperwork away from getting a proper license), so I'm sending him over to give her a little riding company. Best of luck to her, and my thanks to all of you who backed her up. – Annie B's son, Ian (note from Mama: thank you for taking the time to read through the string of messages supporting your mom.. It takes a lot of courage to face things head on and every person who makes a difference is to be commended. Suggesting that your best friend consider riding with Mom so both have a support system is a stroke of timing and a bit of genius!)

And from Annie B. herself:

You, and Darija, and Linda and ST and Lou and Cindy and Lili - jeez - I love all of you and we haven't even met. I am fine, really - and you all are the best!

My oldest son is living on his own in NYC, and I was trying to explain (via IM) the path my life has taken in the last few weeks - finally I just sent him your url and told him he to start reading at May 31 to see what's up with his mom and dad. He just IM'ed me back and said you were a nice support group. He still can't quite understand why dad doesn't want to go riding with mom and he's awfully smart for a 24 year old.

I read all of the letters about how husbands are buying bikes for their wives, and how they go riding together, and it makes me kind of sad and jealous. But I go visit my baby in the garage, and I whisper - "Saturday - just you and me", and I feel better. Attilla the Husband goes to New Orleans on a business trip on Saturday - back Tuesday - and he usually gets nice again on the phone when he is away. Usually the Nice Husband comes back from business trips. Maybe the weekend after he will see how good I am getting and how much fun I am having and he can fix his Shadow from when I dumped it and we can ride together like the people in the letters.

Meanwhile, I am going to practice getting into first on an incline. Who'd have thought that something legal could be this much fun? Love, – Annie B. and her little Blue Angel (yes, it is legal and it is fun! Now, I know how much you want the "dream" of husband and wife riding side-by-side, but it's been brought to my attention many times that ultimately we are responsible for our own happiness. So, one step at a time. You just keep doing your thing and with any luck, hubby will see clear-headed again and applaud your continuing skills. He should be applauding your determination, because we sure are!)

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Thursday, June 17

Dear VTwin Mama,
Firstly, what a great website. I live in the UK and have just passed my full bike license (1st time!) with no previous experience on a bike, and even better, the 3 guys I was doing my lessons with all failed!

Well 2 days later I bought myself a VFR 400. I am only 5.2" and weigh eight stone. I did get nervous after dropping the bike twice on my lessons, both times on sloping roads, the bike just leaned a little to far and I couldn't hold it up, it really shattered my confidence, but I managed to sail through my test. Well, on my bike I have only been out a couple of times since, one time I was turning right, did it totally wrong and hit the kerb and came off. I was ok, just a bit shaken, but my confidence has been really knocked, I am really nervous and worry about dropping the bike again. 

I will just be staying local and practicing breaking, turning etc in a big car park, but I can't seem to get rid of my nerves -- any suggestions? Maybe I should just stop being a stupid wimp, because I can do it obviously or I wouldn't have passed my test, maybe this bike is too big for me? I can touch the floor though. I don't think my mums helping either, making me feel really guilty about getting a bike, I am 26. I do understand her concerns, but you only live once, got to enjoy it. Thanks for your time and the website. – @ngela

Dear @angela,
You only have to read any portion of my Jitters Pages to realize that you ARE SO NOT ALONE (learning, bike size, nervousness, ohmigosh, what am I doing?!). Yes, it is a challenge starting out, but you're doing the right thing -- getting yourself to a clear area to practice. There is NO substitute!

In a previous letter it was noted that if you look at the nervousness correctly, it's actually a good thing! The point made was that it's your body/brain telling you that concentration is needed, a safe place for learning your skills is a must, and that in a sort of weird way, you're excited about the prospects of mastering that which you seek to learn!

So, big, deep gulp and get on with it. If you have not contacted the Women's International Motorcycle Organization (conveniently located in your country!), now's the time to hop onto their site and make contact. These women have a wealth of knowledge and a shoulder to lean on when riding goes wrong. And to cheer when it's right. Go make some friends -- your nerves will be in good company! And it may even calm Mum down a bit to know that you are with qualified riders who will be helping you along the way. – Mama

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Monday, June 21

For @ngela who has the jitter thing going on:

I am not a regular “reader," but I do drop in from time to time and I wanted to respond to @ngela’s message on June 17th to you.  This site has really helped me to know that I’m not alone in the world of women riders and that we all have similar thoughts, fears, and experiences and I wanted to share mine with @ngela.  

Last August, I got my first bike (Honda A.C.E. 750) since my brother and I shared one when we were in high school which was too long ago to mention.  My husband got his bike a year ago March, and the more I rode on the back, the more I wanted to be in front.  Besides I always told him “that if he got one, so did I."  

I went through the MSF course and passed the first time through.  The class is a REQUIREMENT for any rider, but I think I was even more cautious after the class and wondered “what have I gotten myself into?"  I wasn’t sure I was ready for the larger bike, and right before the class, I had forgotten to put the kickstand down when rearranging the bikes in the garage and both of us hit the floor. 

Then after the class, I experienced the same “sloping hill” problem.  I decided to ride to work one day not long after I got my license and the route I chose was probably not the best.  On my way home at a stop sign, the bike landed on its side.  I was really in a funk at that point.  Dropping the bike at a stop sign after the garage experience was probably my worst fear and I had just done it!  

But after some reading on your web site and mulling things over, I realized I was pretty normal.  Everyone goes through a learning period.  I also realized that my worst fear had happened and it wasn’t that bad.  What I needed was practice, confidence, and a better route to work!  

Since that time, I’ve put over 2000 miles on the bike and I enjoy riding more and more each time we (I) get out.  A few weeks after the stop sign incident, my husband and I took trip to visit my family which was around 500 miles round trip.  That ride did more for my confidence levels than anything before or since.  Just spending that much time with the bike made a world of difference.  There are still little things that I think I could be better at and those are the ones that will keep me from getting too confident and making larger mistakes.  The important thing is to keep trying!  Thanks for your web-site and for the growing numbers of women riders! – Cynthia Cunningham (note from Mama: and there we have it (!) -- an honest admission that not all things are always hunky dory in the first phases of learning to ride, but we CAN and MUST choose to put the learning experience into perspective and keep our eyes on the bigger prize -- to ride with a big "I'm doing it" grin on our faces!)

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Tuesday, June 22

Dear VTwin Mama,
Oh my god - it gets better!!!! I thought last weekend was more fun than I could imagine - how stupid was that???!!!! I went riding with Ian's friend today! Pete has only had his bike (a sweet Intruder, about 10 years old - really custom) about 2 days longer than me, but he is 24-ish and one of those young guys who can just get on and do it the first time. He was already way more experienced than I was - the day after he got his bike - which was the first time he ever rode, he was riding down into Manhattan to show Ian.

I had no idea how to get to Pete's house, so we met at a shopping center halfway between our houses. To get there, I had to navigate roads that I wouldn't even have considered last Sunday, and certainly never anticipated riding them today, much less alone. But I just got on the bike this afternoon and somehow it all just "clicked" and it was like I moved up a level. Riding around today, it felt like riding that bike was the most natural thing in the world. We rode busy roads, windy roads, huge intersections, up to about a 45 mph posted. And I did it because I knew I could do it.

I know there are levels after this one, but, HOW COOL IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! – Annie B.

Dear Annie,
It's so cool I can barely contain myself with joy! It seems that having a riding partner waiting to go out with you was the catalyst you needed to challenge yourself to move forward just a bit faster. You are an inspiration to us all! – Mama

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Tuesday, June 22

For Annie B. who is new to riding and facing a number of challenges:

Boy oh boy, miss this site for a couple days and you miss a lot! First and foremost: YEAH ANNIE B! Takin' the bike out for a spin by yourself with hubby away...you've got WAY MORE GUTS than I did. I mean that in a good way. My husband called me from work every day, rain or shine, to ask me if I took my bike out yet. Between my jitters and all that pressure I could barely make it out the door, let alone the driveway. You go girl!!! Keep it up, and who knows, maybe by the time you do ride with your husband, you'll ride better than he does.

However, if I may make a suggestion, consider having your bike in first gear when you stop, at least until you see that the traffic behind you has stopped. Always try to leave some space in front and have an escape route planned. Just in case. And inclines worried me too until I learned to hold the clutch just at the friction point, allowing me to skip holding the front brake while sitting there, and then I can get going easily without trying to slip my hand off of the brake and onto the throttle. I used to rock the bike in the driveway to dispel my jitters before going out; it proved to be a good practice maneuver for clutch control (for me, anyway).

Also, I have a question about the tennis ball thing. I heard or read somewhere about using those red plastic disposable drink cups for cones, and I was going to try that. But then, I thought that on the off chance one of my skinny tires would "catch" one and roll over it, I might lose traction and have a tire slide out. Those rubbery little cones they use in the classes are perfect (if expensive and hard to find) because you don't lose traction rolling over them. So how do the "tennis balls cut in half" fare in this respect? Would they likely slip? – Linda Carruth (note from Mama: thanks for the support to Annie B. In regard to your questions about the use of tennis balls and drink cups, I'm thinking that they both squish and/or move so easily that they should pose no problem if your bike decides to aim (!) straight for them. Let's see if Pat or Betty read this and have more to add about their perspective use of these alternatives to cones.)

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Saturday, June 26

For Annie B. and her Adventures:

Way to go! I hope your riding is coming along and that hubby is too! – Marina (note from Mama: short and sweet, but every message of support is an important one!)

 

Cool Annie, very cool : ) I have not even been away for a month and things are happening. I take it you got your insurance or you would not be riding YOUR bike and now you are claiming roads. A lot can change in a short amount of time. The next thing you know you will be taking a hundred mile trip and telling us all about it.

 

I just got back from a rally in Cookesville, Tennessee and ran into several different obstacles. Of course, I trailered the bike because it was a 7 ½-hour trip by car and I am not ready for the long haul just yet. We camped out on top of a hill, which meant that I had to ride my bike down the hill, which was grassy and wet, and then it rained and the hill became mud. There were so many bikes that went down that it scared me to death, I actually rode to the top, and my husband had to ride it down the hill because I was so scared. 

 

I went for a ride into to town because my husband doesn’t have a bike (long story there) and I took it on the highway for the first time. There were many windy roads, but no traffic a perfect situation. A gorgeous day, the sun was out and there is just not another feeling like it in the world, unless you surf. We came back and I had forgotten that I had to go back up this hill, but I did it and with no hesitation, gunned it and stood up because the ground was so bumpy and made it to the top. There were a bunch of guys camping right at the top of the hill and they were clapping for me, it felt good.

 

Another obstacle was the gravel roads : ( there were a few guys that dropped there bikes on that road. I took the uphill gravel road very slow and I never used my front brake because the road is so bumpy you kinda of have ride to them out. It is like when you are on a boat and you hit the waves, there is nothing you can do about it. Just try to stay in time with the waves while in control.  It was a great weekend and it really gave me the confidence to go down the road I have been avoiding.

 

Annie, I am glad that the wind and sun are finally upon your face. If you ever make it to North Carolina, I would be honored to ride with you. Sincerely, – ST (note from Mama: messages of support are so great! And thanks for sharing your own set of adventures -- you're "stick with it" attitude is a true testimonial that it CAN be done and each day is a new day for learning and trying. Kudos! )

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Tuesday, July 6

Dear VTwin Mama,
My wife, 38, who had never driven before, has purchased her first bike, a 2004 Honda VTX 1300 Retro with engine guards, windshield, and cruisliner saddlebags. She loved the looks, instruments, and the feel and fit of the bike. Her other choice was a 750 Honda Aero, but she decided on the VTX instead. She is scheduled for her MSF course in 3 weeks.

With a experienced driver along to coach her, we trailered the bike to a large, deserted parking lot last Saturday for her first ride.

After a couple of times choking it out with the clutch, she started out beautifully, staying in first gear, and negotiated a slow turn at the end of the lot about 150 yards away. She stopped perfectly, and stayed there. I found out later that she had gotten into second gear by hitting the heel-toe shifter. She stopped and tried to change gears but lost her balance and the bike rolled over. She got out of the way, and was unharmed.

However, when we got there, she had gotten the bike up. (God, she's only 150 lbs!! With a 650 + lb bike!!)

She was shaky and very nervous. I could not get her (Gently, of course) to try the bike out again, saying that the bike is just too much weight (she is 5'4" and flat footed on the seat with no arm reaching). Do you think that the MSF course might have an impact on her thinking, or is it just too much bike?

I tend to think it is not, and that it is just inexperience. Would a smaller bike for her to practice on after the MSF course be helpful? If so, what size? Due to disabilities, I cannot and have never ridden a bike, so it is hard for me to know. Thanks in advance. – Concerned Hubby

Dear Concerned Hubby,
What a thoughtful person you are to seek input from women riders who can potentially help you understand how your wife is feeling at this point in order that you continue to support her as best possible.

I'm not surprised to hear that she wanted to take the beastie out before taking the class -- it's natural! And there is no doubt in my mind that what happened (the dropping of the bike when something was out of whack to her) is also normal. When all is going well, it's fun. It's knowing what to do when something is amiss. And the riding course will give her a wonderful opportunity to actually learn to learn!

By that I mean, she'll be put through riding drills that gradually work through the basic maneuvers (stops, starts, shifting, gentle curves, tighter 8's, etc.). She'll then be able to apply the very same steps with her own bike in the parking lot, but with more confidence.

It's true that many riders prefer to get some time under their belt with a smaller cc bike to start with, but like many, there are just as many women who start out on bigger bikes (me!). I'd say to hold off on that decision until she takes the class and then ask her what her gut instinct is telling her. We believe greatly in the gut!

So, the bottom line is that your wife bit off just a little bit more than she was ready to chew and is now paying a price for it (nervousness). Let's remember, however, that in a few weeks she'll be learning under the watchful eye of qualified instructors who will be there for her at every step (and on a much smaller bike)! And she'll be with other new riders -- a comraderie of shared experience will boost her morale as she can laugh and cry with others going through the same thing.

Kudos to your friend who tried the initial coaching. If you feel your wife would benefit from an extended support group, it's time to hop over to my Cool Links page and at the top you'll find the logos and links to the many women's riding organizations with local chapters. See if there is one in your area. Continued mentoring from other women might be just the ticket that allows her to keep "talking it out," so to speak. Women like to share with caring people, and this is one way to find like-minded riders in your area.

Big hugs to you Hubby -- we applaud your support as well! – Mama

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Wednesday, July 7

Dear VTwin Mama,
Well, in my excitement to ride I went ahead and purchased the Marauder 800 last Thursday. What a beautiful bike. I had a friend drive it right to a parking lot and began riding. I was having a lot of fun and becoming familiar with the bike when I dumped it. It happened so fast I'm not really sure what I did wrong. I damaged the windshield and the left foot peg. It's not as pretty as it was upon delivery but it still looks good. I got a bit of a road rash on my arm which is healing fine but I seem to have lost confidence. 

I tried to go out early this morning for a short jaunt around the block when I tipped over again. This time the bike wasn't even running. My foot got stuck under the shifter for a quick second and I just plopped over. Jeez.....it wasn't pretty. So now I have 0 confidence and am afraid I have scared myself bad. I called around yesterday for a motorcycle safety course which includes actual time on a bike (8 hours) and found that all classes are booked for 2004. I could leave my name and number in case someone cancels. So.....I'm depressed. I may not get back on that bike and turn it on until next year. What a humbling experience. – Lucy

Dear Lucy,
Nonsense! Your first oopsies are always the hardest to take emotionally and mentally, but I've got news for you -- if you let the beastie beat you now, you'll never know the beauty of achieving your dream of riding. So wipe away those "oh, poor me" thoughts and let's get on with it!

To regain confidence, try this with the help of a friend: with the bike turned off and in neutral, sit on the bike with your feet firmly planted, with your friend facing you and straddled over the front wheel and with a light grip at the center of the handlebar to help you steady the bike.

Now, gently lean the bike to the left a bit, then to the right, then a little bit more each way. Feel the weight of the bike, how your leg needs to be positioned to take the weight the easiest (and with the most control). Now, roll or duck walk the bike forward and back. Now add a little lean and/or turn of the front wheel. In each instance, your task is to become one with the weight of the bike so that you understand your capabilities and limits. This is especially true if the wheel is slightly turned to one side and you feel it's tipping. How will you handle it? Where does your foot need to be? Learn!

Now you're in better position to go back to that parking lot and begin again. But before doing so, may I suggest (as the riding courses are booked) that you purchase the Ride Like a Pro for the Ladies video. Lots of important skills demonstrated by a women on a very large bike -- and by seeing someone do it and explain it (and that you can watch over and over), you'll be that much more informed for your next excursion out! Many women, both new and experienced, swear by the video. It's a good thing!

To paraphrase the Tom Hank's line in that movie about the women's baseball league during WWII (the name escapes me just at the moment) -- There's no crying in motorcycling. Now, go do it! Go, go, go! – Mama

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Monday, July 12

For Lucy who dropped her new bike on the first try out:

I know the feeling!  Bought my bike before MSF and headed over to the parking lot with hubby to get started.  In the first five minutes I dumped it twice!  Just for dumb things.  I was initially terrified of the bike and my nervousness translated into brain and body freeze.  Took the MSF, and have been practicing for the last couple of months.  Even post MSF, I dumped it on a right turn (they seem to give me fits!) but fortunately very slow speed and no damage to me or the bike.  It can be overwhelming... so much to think about and remember as we're trying to learn how to handle these wonderful beasts!  I remember the first time I forgot to be nervous and I'm driving around in circles in my beloved parking lot and I'm grinnin' from ear to ear cause I'm finally starting to feel relaxed and comfortable and it is SO MUCH DARN FUN!!!  There are a bunch of women riders out there who are tremendously supportive and who have gone through the same things... I would encourage you to hang in there.  We know you can DO IT! – Nancy (note from Mama: with support like this it's easy to envision that it is possible to weather the storm and keep the dream alive!)

Welcome to the club!  I also had my first drop this weekend.  I had posted earlier looking at an Intruder, but found a V Star custom 650 that I fell for and got that one instead.  Picked it up on Friday and put 600 miles on it over the weekend.

In spite of it having a smaller engine and being pretty light, I dropped it at a stop sign making a sharp right turn.  Got a few scratches on the turn signal and broke the ball tip off the front brake lever.  My pride was bruised along with my right leg, but I consoled myself with the fact I at least picked it up without help.  The NEXT day we pulled into a place to eat dog tired after riding a while, my foot got under the kickstand somehow and I ALMOST dropped it again.

Definitely practicing in a parking lot helps, but most importantly these are learning experiences.  It sounds cliche' and I would have loved to be one of the new bike owners who never dropped their bike, but it happened and we should be proud we are at least out there riding, not sitting on a couch someplace.  Incidentally, my husband who also got a new bike (Silverado 1100) has not dropped his but jumped a curb and had some interesting "off-road" experience as a result.

Please get back on.  Remember you are not the only one to have some spills, even though it feels that way when you are sprawled on the ground with your bike and people are looking at you.  If it happens again, just remind yourself that a lot of the witnesses don't have the guts to even try riding in the first place, grin a big grin and watch the jaws drop when you pick that puppy up by yourself and hop back on.  See you on the road! – Haven (note from Mama: you are right -- the "dropsie club" is a rite of passage, and no one is exempt!)

When I first started riding I dropped my bike every 50 ft., take it slow, start by just letting the clutch out and fell the bike catch. Then let the clutch out and go a few feet. Do these little things to get your confidence back. Just keep practicing, riding is a skill, the more you do it, the better you'll get. – Angela (note from Mama: true, so true!)

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Tuesday, July 13

More for Lucy who dropped her new bike on the first try out:

Lucy have no fear and don't be upset over what you did.  I have been riding since April, passed my MSF in mid June and was doing just fine until this past Sunday.  I was walking my bike out of it's spot in the garage on the right side.  When I came to a stop to put it down on the kickstand, guess what?  The kickstand was not down.  Guess where the bike went?  Right down on the side of my car!  The damage to the bike was a popped off windshield and a loose mirror.  Once I got a neighbor to help me move it away from the car and pick it up, it was the car that lost! ($700 to fix)  I was so angry and upset with myself for not checking that kickstand.  Bike is fine, I am going to buy crashbars for it to make it easier to pick up. But I just keep telling myself not to keep upset over it.  I thought my husband would be furious but for the first time he wasn't.  He just told me that it was going to happen and to try to be more careful and keep my bike away from his.  This coming from a man who has a temper and has never dropped his bike! 

We are all beginners, no matter how long we have been riding.  We all have new experiences everytime we go out.  And for heavens sake remember this one, NO ONE IS PERFECT!!!  We all make mistakes. – Donna (note from Mama: and there you have it! It happens! Cool advice from hubby to stay clear of other bikes until you've "got it down to an art form" though!)

Yes, I know the feeling of dropping a bike as well. I just recently up graded from a Rebel to a Shadow VLX-D, and the very first DAY I had it, I was at a stop sign, about to turn right, when the handle bars turned in and the bike went top heavy and over I went. I scuffed the muffler a little and broke the rear blinker. I was SO angry with myself. But I made myself get up, did a little bit of umm would you say temper dance, and got back on and rode around. I still get nervous at the same corner but am doing better with it now. It just takes practice and more practice!!! Good luck! – No Name (note from Mama: ah, an anonymous contribution to the oopsie stories! I like the little "dance" idea -- gets the icky out and the silly back in, as well as shaking it off so you can concentrate on the task at hand!)

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Tuesday, July 13

For Concerned Hubby who wants to help his wife have the best beginning riding experience possible:

First of all, what a thoughtful sweetie you are!!

I did the same thing on my VTX about two weeks before I was to take the course -- I just couldn't wait!  No experience but anxious to try so my hubby and I took it to a parking lot and I was fine for a little bit but then I stalled it as I was doing a slow turn and BOOM down it went.  I got out of the way and wasn't hurt other than my pride (nor was the bike WHEW!).  I started thinking maybe I got too big of a bike and was afraid to go near it again.  I stayed off it until I went to the course.  Let me say, I learned so much (including confidence!) at the course and had so much fun that after a few days on that little 250cc bike I rode for the course, my bike didn't seem so big at all.  I'd hold off on looking for a smaller bike until after she takes the class because she is likely to feel very differently afterward. Good luck! – Cathy (note from Mama: there is nothing like the shared experience and thanks for the sage advice on waiting till after the course to reassess the situation!)

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Tuesday, July 13

Dear VTwin Mama,
So, today [this was Sunday, June 27] I rode "Annie Pearl" with a couple of men. My fiancé and a guy he met in the V-Rod forum, Chris. I was really feeling like OK, I am a weanie. I cannot ride with the two of you. I ride with my fiancé all the time and that is great. He knows me....knows my quirks and fears. Sometimes, he pushes me too much but, I back off when I need to and ride my own ride.

For example, we were coming back from the beach the other day. We had gone to visit my sis, and as we were leaving it looked like rain was going to hit us. Last year I was terrified of riding in the rain. I had never done this....What am I going to do I thought. This bike is going to skid and get away from me.

Well, I got baptized on the way home from my Brother's house last year. Torrential downpours....Oh my God! You know what...it wasn't so bad. Yeah, I had to wring out my shirt when we stopped but, I made it. Yeah, the steel bridge was scary and yes those white lines are slippery. Thank you MSF for telling me that. But, I survived.

So, my sis is terrified that it may rain...never mind that I am riding a motorcycle. I told her I would be fine. I don't choose to ride in the rain but, I could handle it. Amazing to get to that period. Anyway, we beat the rain. But, I rode my own ride. We took the highway to beat the rain. Every time I caught up to him, he would speed up. After a few times of this I said to myself, "you know what...He can ride as fast as he wants. I am riding my own ride. 55 feels comfy and that is what I am doing. I will get there. And I did.

So, today with Chris. I was worried that these 2 boys on the V-Rods were going to be too aggressive for little ole me on my Heritage Softail. Well, I kept up for the most part. I didn't let them push me. I apologized for being a Weanie. You know what Chris said to me, "how long have you been riding?" "This is my third season", I replied. He said, "You ride pretty good". And I was riding my ride. What fun!

So, Ladies....Ride Your Own Ride. Even when you are with people you have never ridden before. At the end of the day, Chris wanted to know all the things I had learned in the MSF.

Oh yeah, I met his wife when we got to his house. She is thinking about riding her own too. We had a great conversation. And what a great day! I rode my own...I wasn't intimidated...and it felt good. And I felt respected. How much more could you ask for??? Thanks for the great site and the encouragement Petra! You do wonderful things for us women riders!!!!! – Shani in NH

Dear Shani,
Oh joy of joys! You chose to trust your gut and understand your limits while also adding a few challenges to your skills, but on your own terms. This is SO NOT WEANIE! Kudos to you -- now, continue to go forth and spread joy! That's what I try to do! – Mama

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Tuesday, July 27

Dear VTwin Mama,
I am a soon-to-be new rider (planning on taking the MSF course this weekend), or rather, re-taking it. I've taken it last year, and after we've gotten to the point of riding between the cones, I sort of laid the bike down (gently - no damage to me or bike ;) panicked, and decided to quit.

I do not drive a stick shift, so naturally, I had difficulty with shifting, which I believe I can overcome.

My biggest problem, however, is that I had difficulty balancing the bike (even the light 250s). I HATE bicycles - I've ridden one as a kid, but never liked it and didn't feel comfortable on it.

This is the main source of my frustration, since I'm very fit and athletic (tennis, swimming, taekwondo, soccer, you name it, for many years). I have a great sense of balance which I use daily, in training - so why the balancing part is so difficult to me??? I am also pretty strong, and not too short (5'7"). I'm 29 and it good shape, I learn quickly, so why can't I get into this? I do love speed/rush and motorcycles.

We had a woman in our class in her 60s (props to her, btw!) who did fine, and I just chicken out. Felt very tense, the entire time of my incomplete class attendance.

My question: anyone else had to go thorough similar? Anyone out there having difficulty balancing a bike at low speeds?

Is there any hope for me at all, or should I just settle for riding in the back; please let me know, as I see there are many experienced woman riders in this forum. Is there anyone who gave up or almost gave up in the beginning? Are there people that are just not meant to ride? ANY feedback is appreciated, – Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,
Wow. I want to be you! Well, except for the riding thingy!

Kudos to you for all your achievements to date. Your letter suggests a level of frustration of not being able to conquer something right off the bat, but if you look a little closer, you’ll see that your mastery in many sports has to do with your body (and maybe a small sports equipment piece of some sort, i.e. a racket or ball).

A motorcycle is a whole different animal and demands respect – it is a mechanical/electrical beast with a lot of raw power with absolutely no ability to read your mind or desired actions/reactions. It does what you tell it to do, and if you do it incorrectly, it can hurt you. In addition, cages (aka cars) have absolutely no respect for you or the bike which makes it highly dangerous if you are not in the mood to pay strict attention to what you are doing or more importantly, what others are doing.

Because shifting and balance are both challenges for you, you might want to consider learning to drive a stick shift car first so that the timing and sequencing is learned before you add the balance component that a motorcycle will also require. Or, opt for an auto tranny bike so you take the shifting out of the equation. Just a thought.

Yes, some people are not meant to ride, and others battle for longer amounts of time to achieve the harmony with a bike that meets their expectations. Examine your heart and trust your gut instinct on what you hope to achieve and then go for it. We are rooting for you! – Mama

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Wednesday, August 4

Dear VTwin Mama,
Just wanted to say many thank-you's for such a great site.  I know you must work very hard on it and I'm sure when I speak for all when I tell you how much we appreciate all the useful info and support.  

I wrote a few months ago about a problem with my foot configuration.  Could not get used to my pegs and also had the problem of burning my heels on my pipes.. Thanks to your site Sandy L. from Lexington, Ky.  solved my problem.  Thank you Sandy!!!  I ordered the pegs that she recommended from J.P. Cycles.  I love them!!!!!  NO more burning heels!

 

I also had the handlebars rotated a little more forward, (thanks to your site) plus had my baffles removed from my pipes.  She sounds so sweet.  Thanks so much.......

When I first wrote to you I did not mention that I am 56 and a new rider.  I took the motorcycle course without telling my husband.  Had never ridden before.  I passed and got my license after spending the weekend on small bike.  You know what I'm talking about.  My husband was so elated that he ran out and bought me a 1450cc Harley.  

Well, we both know that two days in a safety course does not a rider make........  My new bike scared the crap out of me!!!!!!Your site and I'm not kidding has saved me from so many simple mistakes that I would have never known about had I not read about them.  I have put 2000 mi. on her this year.  Have dropped her twice. (Luckily both times standing still!)  I am getting more confidence all the time and were it not for all the kind people that share info on your site and make one realize that they are not alone and you can look back and laugh at your mistakes,  I think that I might have thrown in the towel.  

As it is now I hope that I will be riding into my seventies.  Thank you so much.  The main reason for this letter is that next Thursday we will be heading for Sturgis.  We are from Maine.  Wondering if you will be there.  Will you have a booth?????  If so, would love to meet you.  Also if you post this many thanks to Sandy L and want her to know I have named my bike Sandy!!!!  Kudos to all the sisters out there.  You are never to old to pursue your dream and discover the freedom of the road.  No matter where it takes you. – LowRider

Dear LowRider,
Glad the VTwin Mama site could be of help and has offered lots of archived material for you to look through – and of course, the many readers who offer their solutions and observations are a big part of it all! You are right -- it's NEVER the wrong time to pursue your dream of riding, no matter what age, etc.!

Unfortunately, VTwin Mama is still very much in “her” infancy (even after three years) and so road trips to even the bigger rallies is not on the radar scope financially. Hopefully this winter I’ll have the chance to really sit down and figure out how to take this site and realize my dream (working on the site full-time) with some sort of financial backing or non-profit status or . . . or . . . who the heck knows! Then, having a booth at the biggee shows and traveling around would be more of a reality.

I AM planning on being at the AMA’s Women and Motorcycling Conference in Athens, GA in 2006, fingers crossed. – Mama

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